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People are often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this


albert2307 1 / -  
Nov 9, 2020   #1
IELTS TASK 2: Please help me to improve my essay. i would appreciate to receive your feedback

adaptation to different challenges in life



Coping with new problems in life is a challenge. This is considered a common difficulty for everyone. This essay will tackle some factors of this idea and also give suggestions for people to deal with it.

There are two causes that people struggle to adapt to new conditions. First, it is undeniable that some objective reasons can negatively affect our lives. Events like study or work abroad include situations whilst people are familiar with their lifestyles. As a consequence, it can lead one to an unwilling sense of discovering new shifts. For instance, 85 percent of international students in the US admitted that they had experienced culture shock. Second, subjective impacts are crucial in letting someone down. Intimate relationships within families are worth to be put into perspective, because it can make children desperate when leaving home. For example, many kids who cannot identify a bus ticket because their parents always set a prior protecting for them.

It is essential to state measures so that people can get over new changes. To begin with, family should give guidance to people so that they can be mature and find an escape from the circumstance. This is illustrated clearly by myself, who was always aroused in the middle of the morning so I found it hard to wake up at 6 o'clock in university time. Furthermore, each person within society needs to have awareness in treating positively others, since it can improve their adaptation in every aspect. One of the most highlighted instances is virtual society, as social media is a widespread way to change the mindset of people.

In conclusion, adaptation is a process and it takes everyone a long time to accept new things. People should bravely face difficulties so it could be easier to struggle with conditions.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Nov 9, 2020   #2
The opening paraphrase is a bit confusing. You should try to provide more clarity regarding the topic, what you are being asked to write about, and what your discussion topics will actually be within the discussion paragraphs. Rather than counting 2 causes in one paragraph, use one cause per paragraph. That way you can fully discuss each topic and also, show your ability to use transition sentences that can help move your causes discussion from one reason to the next connected reason in a new paragraph. Using a transition sentence between paragraphs or within paragraphs will help you get a better C&C and GRA score.

You are very fond of using filler sentences, which do not really help move the discussion forward. A more straightforward topic sentence at the start of each paragraph will help you gain a better score. Though the word fillers helped to lengthen the presentation, the fact that it did not really fall under any of the scoring considerations means that the reviewer cannot give you a higher score for the filled in sections.


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