in many nations
This creates a topic reference inaccuracy. Review the original topic reference point. It uses"people" while the writer refers to "nations". There is a misrepresentation of the topic subject.
An array of residents
A continued misrepresentation of the original topic basis. Deductions will continue to apply resulting in a low to failing TA score.
There are a number of reasons ... several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals ...
2 problems with this portion:
- Lack of established discussion topics based on the given questions (no thesis statements).
- Incorrect solution reference. Solutions are personal.The problem is not one that should be resolved by the government.
The approach to the topic restatement +personal opinion will prevent the essay from achieving high / passing marks.
companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life.
This sentence lacks proper development in terms of idea presentation to make sense to an ENL. What is a " narrowed down human resource"?
The writer is over-discussing the topics tothe point of under-development. There are too many ideas but not enough valid explanations. The clear connection between topics in the paragraphs are blurred. There is not enough use of proper connecting words, phrases, or sentences.