TOEFL essay: People have too much free time nowadays. Do you agree or disagree?

I have placed another TOEFL essay. Please, provide your comments on all aspects of writing.
Is the number of examples is sufficient or do I need more. How do I have to write essays which I disagree with?

All people need free time to recover from hard work, improve their health, spend it with their families and so on. However, due to several factors the amount of free time available to people is getting smaller, so that nowadays people do not have much free time.

Nowadays, the amount of information available to people is rapidly growing and in order to stay beyond the progress and to raise further their knowledge and background as well as be aware of recent developments and achievements in particular fields of science or art, people have to work on themselves by constant reading and analyzing the available data. Because searching and acquaintance with all the information available to an individual, the one has to spend a lot of his/her time and efforts to conduct these activities. For example, the lawyer has to spend the majority of his/her free time exploring recent articles, books, amendments to the current legislation on various aspects of legal studies, since at work he/she does not manage time. Thus, very little free time is left to dedicate to family or to rest.

Furthermore, more and more people have to work at several jobs during the day to financially secure themselves and maintain normal standards of living for their family. The necessity to meet basic material needs enforce people to direct all their time to earning money, leaving no vacant time for leisure.

On the other hand, automatized houses and workplaces, which became equipped with devises and machines, that perform the bulk of work instead of people provide more free time to be used on other activities. For example, a woman is able to complete her household faster with the aim of automats domestic automatic machines and devote the rest of her time to her children or herself.

So that the great amount of information and material required for the one to get familiar and comprehend together with necessity to work additionally to provide better living conditions leaves very little free time. Therefore, I think that people do not have very much free time nowadays.

I think in some respects we have too little free time "nowadays" (I dislike that word by the way), but you could also agrue that, becasue of technological advancements, people spend less time doing routine chores that in the past consumed a large proportion of our time (i.e., cooking, keeping one's house up, traveling to and from destinations).

Me too! what an awful word. I use it sometimes though. and I hate myself for it.

:-)

This is a long sentence:
Nowadays, the amount of information available to people is rapidly growing, and in order to stay beyond the progress current and to raise further their knowledge and background, and as well as be stay aware of recent developments and achievements in particular fields of science or art, people have to work on themselves by constantly reading and analyzing the available data.---- wow, it is such a long sentence, but it is correct.

You can use further as a verb. I further my knowledge (above).

Also, you can do this instead of writing "constantly":
have to work on themselves through the use of constant reading and analyzing.

For example, a woman home owner is able to complete her household faster with the aim of automats use of domestic automatic machines and devote the rest of her time to her children or herself. ------ You should be careful to avoid writing things that make you seem like someone who thinks women should be home makers while men have careers. When you talk about home making or raising children, in the 21st century it is important to talk about men or women doing this. Otherwise, we might accidentally contribute to the oppression of women with the way we write. However, I do not actually think that you have old fashioned views about women; I just want to make sure you don't accidentally seem that way through your writing, :-D

I see what you mean Kevin. This occurs because of my inattentiveness. Thank you for pointing it out. I will try to avoid doing such errors in my following essays, at least because like a woman in my example, I belong to feminine gender as well. :-)