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People can freely choose clothes they like, while they cannot be assessed from their appearance

kurnia 4 / 5  
Dec 8, 2016   #1
Q: some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

In the last decade, there has been a considerable debate whether people can be judge from what they wear. It is undeniable to say that people can freely choose clothes they like while they cannot be assessed from their appearance. However, honestly I totally agree about that contention, because someone is eligible to choose clothes which they like.

In fact, the majority of people in the world contend that their looks is pointing out their images, particularly their behavior and attitude. It can be happen because many of people often assumed of others according their appearance. However, in my opinion , everyone should be not doing that because someone has a unique style which is diverse with others. For instance, someone who admire a rock star would imitate how his idol looks like. Nevertheless, his personality is very different from his idol. While the person he like is violent, he does not. In short, we cannot judge people characteristic from their appearance.

In addition, certain people also tend to wear clothes according colour, for example someone only like to wear blue t-shirt and blue jeans. Furthermore, some people like to wear anything clothes but it must comfortable to them. In my point of view, it is no matter to someone wearing anything, nevertheless the main important it must polite and suitable for occasion. For instance someone wear fence clothes when attend funeral occasion. I think is not suitable and very impolite.

To sum up, briefly, regarding that issue, I would like to reiterate that every people do not eligible to judge others according their looks and style because clothes not certain determine people's behavior.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Dec 8, 2016   #2
The important thing that is missing from your essay is a proper thesis statement and the outline of your thesis statement. These two elements are essential because they can help you achieving your desirable band score (6 or above). Thus, I would like to help you by rephrasing your introductory paragraph into a well-developed response towards the prompt. I hope you can follow through.

In the last decade, there has been a considerable debate [...], because someone is eligible to choose clothes which they like.

These days, it is believed that people's quality can be seen from the outfits that they wear while some people think that clothes are not supposed to be the indicator to judge people. However, I would personally agree with the second view due to outfits cannot represent people's quality. This essay will discuss, first, how assuming people's images based on appearance is not justifiable and second, they have their own tendency to choose whatever clothes that they like.
ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Dec 9, 2016   #3
Aloha Kurnia, here are my thoughts for you;

(1) word choices
basically, it is absolutely crucial that you enrich your vocabulary because IELTS test is also about vocabulary test. So, let me share some vocabulary you can use to change yours such as;

- people => persons, individuals, inhabitants, citizens, etc
- in the last decade => in the meantime, these days, etc.
- I totally agree => I am more likely to be in agreement, I tend to argue that this notion is the best choice, etc
- I totally disagree => I am more likely to against this notion, I tend to be opponent with this notion, etc

(2) understanding question
I find your essay almost does not answer the question owing to the phrase "what they are like". Let me explain, "what they are like" means "what they are similar" for instance, in my country, Indonesia, if you wear white clothes, you will appear similar to a nurse or a doctor. "what they like" means "what they enjoy or be fond of" for example, I like pastel clothes because I can be feel free when wearing this.

(3) taking an example
I suggest that when taking an example, you'd better provide readers with your personal experience or the result of study that you have ever read or listened to.

I hope it can be helpful and I am waiting for your feedback

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