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People house change - the village of Stokeford in 1930

tamtamii 9 / 7  
Mar 27, 2017   #1

look of a town in different times

The maps illustrate Stokeford area between 1930 and 2010. It can be seen that two sites in the eastern and western of town have different features significantly in both of two years.

First of all, west side from road had many farm houses in 1930 albeit 2010 had been changed to be people houses. Local people in Stakeford can bought something at shops in front of the road in 1930, but 2010 did not because it had been altered by houses. There are also similarity between both of them that was only post office.

On the other hand, the eastern part in 1930 were also farmsteads although it had changed to be houses in 2010. There were also primary school in both of the years, but this experienced expanse in the last year. Garden and larger house also were in the eastern road in 1930 though it changed to be retirement home and residential people.

septyndid 1 / 1  
Mar 27, 2017   #2

*In the first sentence,
The maps illustrate Stokeford area -> you can writethe specific condition of Stokeford area such as changes or alteration.
*... both of two years = 4 years -> ... both of years.

BP 1:
*use the suitable preposition
... west side from road ... -> ... west side of road ...
*... Stakeford can bought -> ... can buy ( modal + infinitive)
*There are also similarity ... -> There was also similarity ...

BP 2:
*... the eastern part ... -> Part of what?
*There were also primary school -> There was also primary school (use "to be" in appropriate way)
*... this experienced expanse ... -> ... this experienced expansion ...

Overall, you should more pay attention about the use of suitable "to be".
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,812 2617  
Mar 27, 2017   #3
Hermin, while your paragraphs are well representative of the illustrations provided, you did not really manage to present the most coherent and cohesive information in every paragraph. This was caused by the shortness of the paragraphs that you presented and some wrong formatting of the paragraphs. For example, in the first paragraph, you were expected to present at least 3 sentences in the overall presentation of the summary. By presenting only 2 sentences, you prevented yourself from improving your task accuracy score which would have proved that you understood the prompt requirements. All you had to do in this instance, was rephrase the instructions you were provided in order to create a proper outline for your essay. Regardless of that error, you managed to present a very interesting take on the illustrations, a presentation that would probably result in a score ranging from 4-5.

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