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People get information through news, but meanwhile are uncertain about the truth of these news

ainunazwaria 10 / 18 5  
Feb 7, 2017   #1
IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Hi! I am practicing on IELTS Writing.

Nowadays, people get information through news and papers, but meanwhile are uncertain about the truth of these news.

Should we believe the journalists?

What qualities should a good journalist or correspondent have?

Legit and fake stories

Today, mass media provide a lot of information for society through newspapers and electronic news yet the validity is still doubted. This essay will discuss about how far people can trust the journalists and what credibility a journalist should have.

It is undeniable that journalism activity has delivered a vast information to society. However, people should not totally believe the information or news that is delivered by journalists. It is because today there are a lot of competition among those journalistic workers to reach the best rating view or to be the fastest to provide news. Because of the competition, they then tend to do everything including manipulating the data to make the information sound more sensational or delivering the information as fast as they can without doing deep observation and interview to ensure the validity of the data. It results in the invalidity of the data and information they spread to people.

Every kind of profession requires certain qualities, so does journalism. The fundamental characteristics that journalists should have are being neutral and independent. Journalistic workers should be neutral and should not take a side of any group. By doing so, they can cover both sides and looking at any angles of a phenomenon before presenting it into the news form. Moreover, they should be independent from any pressure and interest of any group so they can be free to report any occurance and fact as it is without intervense from any party.

To conclude, people should clarify the rightness of an information and should not totally trust what journalists report. Furthermore, a good correspondent should have independency and neutrality in accomplishing their task.
bagusetyawan 8 / 27 7  
Feb 7, 2017   #2
In my opinion, you've already made clear task response in your introductory paragraph.
But, moving into the second and the third paragraph, I think it is not strong enough to support your idea.
My suggestion, you can example in the second paragraph based on the case that you've told.
Then, before moving into the third paragrph, you can create a transitional sentence to deliver a smooth transition.

PS: how much band score you want to get?
OP ainunazwaria 10 / 18 5  
Feb 7, 2017   #3

Thanks for your feedback!

I need at least 6.5 for writing section yet overall I need 7.
bagusetyawan 8 / 27 7  
Feb 7, 2017   #4
Well, maybe I can give you some suggestion:

1. Since it's the 2 type questions, you can answer directly the first question on the second paragraph and the second question on the third paragraph. But, it will be better if you can make a good transition between the paragraph, remember it is an essay. The main purpose of essay is to persuade the reader.

2. You can also improve your lexical resources/vocabularies. Try to use specific vocabularies for each topic. It will increase your band score on lexical resources. You can google it for specific vocabularies for each topic.

3. Try to use more advance cohesive devices, if you notice the band 9 score on the band descriptor you'll see this criteria.

Good luck.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,881 4564  
Feb 7, 2017   #5
Ainun, your opening statement would have been made stronger if you had immediately acknowledged your response to the question as to whether journalists should be trusted or not. After all, that was one of the main points for discussion presented in the prompt. So the overview of your response should have been included in the paraphrased question accompanied by the outline of your discussion in the opening statement. This would have made the rest of the discussion your essay stronger and better supported by the opening statement. In the qualities that a good journalist should have, you forgot to include the most important quality which is, journalists should be reliable when it comes to fact-checking their information before publication. Don't forget that the reports of journalists today are in question because of the advent of fake news so that would actually have been the strongest quality that could have been discussed in your essay. It would have also helped to increase your lexical resource score because you would have used the term "fact checking" in the correct manner in your essay.
maitouyen1 8 / 19  
Feb 7, 2017   #6

Hi! I am learning IELTS too so I do not have so many experiences, but I can give you some advice. first of it ,you have grammatical problem

It is undeniable that journalism activity has ...
It was not it is

Every kind of profession requires certain qualities, so does journalism not profession professional
using more words is the best way to get maximum score. try to use consequently , therefore.

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