Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should leern a foreign language.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Foreign language knowledge and opportunities
Many people believe that the appropriate time for them to acquire a new language is when they happen to visit a country or start to work there. However, I myself believe that there are far more reasons for a person to learn such thing as a new language.
On the one hand, it is true to argue that the most common reason for people to learn foreign languages are job opportunities. As can be seen clearly, bilinguals often have advantages applying for vacancies in both local and international corporations as the local ones need their strengths to collaborate with the global ones and vice versa. It is also reasonable to learn the local language before visiting the country. It is common knowledge that some languages look similar, but the wrong use of words may result in bad consequences. This way, getting to know the local languages allows tourists to overcome the language barriers and communicate with the local people without any difficulties and confusions.
On the other hand, I believe that there are some other reasons rather than job opportunities and travel experiences that need to be taken into consideration. Firstly, there are still language aficionados who learn languages due to their passions and interests. For example, a French aficionado who is particularly into France and eagers to discover every aspect of this country can learn more than just words while acquiring French as the language itself covers the country's culture. Secondly, some language learners consider learning such things as foreign languages help exercise their brains the same way as other brain training exercises do, and hence, make them smarter as the learning processes go on.
In conclusion, although the views of considering acquiring foreign languages a way of building one's careers seem to true to some people, I believe that there are still other more significant reasons for others to do so.
By the way, I am going to sit an IELTS exam this August, and I would appreciate if you can point out my strengths and weaknesses so that I can improve the next time I write. Also, I would like my writing to be scored as an IELTS writing paper if possible.
Kind regards!Hello! I am sitting IELTS in August too. Good writing work and grammar usage. However, I think your conclusion is too short. According to me conclusion must me two, three sentences. Greetings from Bulgaria.
when they happen happened to visit a country or start to work there in a country
On the one hand,.. foreign languages are is job opportunities
... the advantages in applying
It is a common knowledge
My friendly assessment is your minor error in the usage of articles in your essay.
@hyperephania
I believe that this is how your body paragraph should be:
1. learning a language for work
2. Other reasons why people learn a different language
3. Your opinion
Since the prompt is 'discuss both views' this should be seen in your body paragraphs.
I think you need to improve your introduction and conclusion as well. Sentences that will capture the reader's interest.
Hope this helps!
Good luck 👍🏼
@ismigyul
Greetings from Vietnam. Thanks for your comment. Good luck with your exam.
@natashaebab
Although I do think I write right some of the sentences you mentioned, thank you so much anyway.
Best regards!
@jalp
Thanks for your comment, but I think the body should include two paragraphs as "discuss both views" does not mean that I should add my own opinion.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 @hyperephania you are writing too many words. You have a total of 315 words which tells me that you focused more on just writing for the sake of proving your vocabulary skills rather than focusing on the more important coherence and cohesiveness of your paragraphs. Having read your complete essay, I saw that you created several run-on sentences of different ideas that mix together in one sentence. This creates undue stress for the reader as it becomes difficult to follow the train of thought in your paragraph presentation.
It is always best to write between 250-300 words, with 250 (the minimum) being the ideal number as this allows you ample time and opportunity to write, revise, and edit your work prior to submission for scoring. Sure, you wrote a lot of words, but you sacrificed the clarity and content of your presentation for the LR score. What good is scoring well in one section when your essay will suffer point deductions in the remaining areas for consideration? Writing more words will never guarantee you a passing score in the Task 2 or Task 1 essay.
By the way, the instruction for this essay requires you to discuss both points of view using public opinion first and then offer a discussion of your personal opinion. That is why your assumption that you should not discuss your personal opinion is incorrect. The instructions require you to discuss your personal opinion AFTER you discuss the two points of view, based on public opinion and using a comparison presentation. The final decision as to which of the two points of view is correct will be based on your supporting statement located within your opinion paragraph.
Here is my take on what your possible scores might be:
TA - 6 - you were not really accurate in covering the total discussion
C&C - 5 - you don't really develop all of the discussions you present in each paragraph
LR - 6 - adequate vocabulary although the usage of the words are not always accurate
GRA - 5 - run-on sentences are predominant in your paragraphs.
@Holt
Thanks for your comments! I really appreciate your spending time interpreting my writing.
