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Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer?

OSM 2 / 3  
May 16, 2016   #1
Along with technological development till the present, we have seen a transcendence of the working style, i.e., from working by hand to by machines. While the latter working method has prevailed across almost the entire world, the former kind of old-fashioned style in some places still remains. I would like to pursue which would be more valuable for our life.

I'm of the opinion that working by hand should be prioritized over working by machines, because such a style creates its own value such as artistic objects or drawings. On the contrary, machines always make some accurate but monotonous movement as operated or systemized. I state the principle values for working by hand as follows:

Firstly, if we were workers, we would be able to adjust or control the quality of our commitment well in accordance with the beneficiary's requirement and preference. For example, one owner might request a roughly shaped ceramic with heterogeneity, while another might wish to have a flat shaped one with uniformity. Professional ceramic artists are capable of creating different types of works, however, machines are unable to mimic such remarkable techniques.

Secondly, the worker's style would become more and more elaborated and sophisticated by experiencing many failures on process to completion. Of course, hand-workers always have a risk of trouble and accident by their own mistakes on the contrary to machines, which don't such mistakes. However, such repeated failures may broaden a chance of creating some surprising ideas and ways for success. I have heard of an interesting story about the origin of "Tonkotsu-Ramen", a sort of Japanese soul food. One day, the owner of a Ramen shop wrongly boiled his pork-based soup with higher temperature than aimed and made it white-turbid. The unexpected soup was surprisingly mild and delicious. That was the origin of Tonkotsu soup indeed. If he always had managed with machines for cooking, Tonkotsu ramen might have not been born in Japan.

Machines measure the exact speed, temperature, height and weight of objects with precision. These merits will make our work efficiency better to a great extent. However, the most important thing for working is to satisfy our friends, families, partners, clients or owners by commitment. In order to achieve it, we need flexible behaviour and creative ideas in accordance with their different preferences. Machines alone could neither create such flexibility nor have creativity without human control. Hence, I think working by hand is more valuable and successful for satisfaction of people. (439 Words)
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
May 16, 2016   #2
Osamu, welcome to EssayForum :) This is the remarkable place to enhance writing skills by doing peer-corrections towards other members' essays. I do hope that you will be able to actively participate in this forum for the sake of your writing skills development.

With regards to your essay, I would like to say that this is already well-written. The ideas that you try to convey is very clear and understandable. I am just curious that this writing refers to what types of essay. Is it academic? or less formal one? since you often use personal pronoun in the whole essay. In my opinion, 'we' or 'our' can be considered as over-generalizing the subject, because not all 'we' or 'our' share the same opinion with the writer. Nevertheless, grammatical errors are a minor problem because most of your sentences are error-free. My suggestion is that you can improve this essay by reducing or omitting the use of contractions. This contractions make your essay become less formal. You can also avoid putting cohesive devices in the middle of the sentence, such as 'however'.

There you are Osamu, by doing several proofreads towards your essay, I think you can obtain a well-developed essay. So, good work on the more complex vocabulary and kudos for this essay. I hope to see more improvement with your upcoming essays :)

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