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IELTS Task 2: Should people live alone or share accommodation with others?


coke 14 / 28 13  
Jun 15, 2019   #1

NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF LIVING ALONE



In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people prefer living alone rather than living with roommates or family members these days compared to the past. This essay believes this is a negative development because people will become socially isolated and they will not have anyone to rely on when they are in trouble.

Social isolation is the most common problem that people, who choose to live by themselves, have to face. This is to say that these people do not want to interact with others, instead, they prefer a quiet zone which they can spend more time with themselves. Gradually, they lose the confidence to communicate in public, thus, they will try to stay away from other people as much as possible. For example, research indicates that undergraduate students in Ho Chi Minh City, who do not live with any roommates on campus, become afraid to engage in conversations and avoid doing outdoor activities with their peers.

More importantly, living alone means that there will be no one available to help people in urgent situations. In a normal house where there are family members living together, they can assist each other if some accidents suddenly happen at any time. In contrast, those, who live in an apartment alone, cannot ask for any help at the time they need it. For instance, my friend, who lived in the college's dormitory alone, died in his room due to a heart attack at night 5 years ago as there was nobody there to get him to the hospital in time.

In conclusion, the fact that people now have a tendency to live alone is quite dangerous because they are separating themselves from their friends and families and there are emergency situations which they cannot call for assistance as soon as they need it.

Please be brutal !!! Highly appreciated your help as my test comes near.
Dang Khoa 11 / 42  
Jun 15, 2019   #2
"Please be brutal !!! Highly appreciated your help as my test comes near." Haha, nice joke BUT I WILL :V!
First of all, as I can see here, your introduction is standout to me because of "This essay believes this...", i've never seen this before and i dont know this is good or bad ;V. BUT! Your introduction shouldn't show any reasons at all, they should be left in the body. Personally, i usually use the phrase: " while some... i believe that...", it's simple and effective that many 8.0 scorer use :).

About the others, they just great, great use of vocab, grammar!!!
... Seriously sorry for hearing that your friend is gone. Hope u live well in the future.
solivagant 8 / 15 6  
Jun 15, 2019   #3
Hi @coke! Good luck to you in your exams!
I think it is unnecessary to mention researches on the topic, because you`re asked to give your own opinion. And if you want to add some examples, they should be related to your personal experiences.

Also, please, don`t use this kind of sentences in your exam:
This essay believes I believe this is a negative development trend, because people will become socially isolated and they will not have anyone to rely on when they are in trouble. although there may be some advantages to it.

So to speak, give your reasons in the main paragraphs.
maria4506 2 / 3 1  
Jun 15, 2019   #4
Hi @coke, I think you have many things to correct here.
The first one is your introduction. Like many people mentioned before, you shouldn't use 'This essay believes...' because the question is asking you about your opinion, not the essay's (the essay cannot think by itshelf).

The second problem is that you should use the subjuntive when writing essays. Because the things you mention in the essay may not be 100% true. Therefore, to be on the safe side, I think you should use the subjuntive or phrases like 'probably', 'likely' to make your writing sound more objective.

Finally is your sentences. If I were you, I wouldn't use this is to say... because I haven't seen any essay containning this type of sentence have high scores. Your conclusion, too. Your conclusion is a little bit intricate, which can make readers confused.

Good luck to you in your exam!
acynguyen0909 3 / 7 1  
Jun 16, 2019   #5
Hi guy,

I would like to contribute some comments on your article.

The arguments and ideas you give are very special and interesting.
I'm sorry to hear the story about your friend.

However, the introduction has a minor problem in the thesis statement. You should use in my opinion, in my choice or I believe in that. I think it will be more convincing.

Wish you have the result as good as possible in the upcoming exam.


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