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people living longer nowadays. Is it good or bad?


bwosti 5 / 11 1  
Apr 10, 2014   #1
Thanks for reading and at the same time could you please comment how much score I can achieve with this writing for IELTS Task II

People nowadays live longer than they used to. What caused this situation? Is it a negative or positive development?

Time is running and we are keeping our pace so as to chase it but in doing so our style of living life has also been changing from traditional and conventional to modern sophisticated luxurious form. As a result, we are consuming healthier balanced diet and using less physical force in performing jobs which is soaring our life expectancy a bit longer than we used to live in the past. By contrast, it is highly contentious as some are in favor of this ideas and others are antagonistic to this.

To begin with potential merits, as we are stepping on this modern era of world which is driven by advanced form of technologies and lots of other advancement everybody has strong proclivity for living life with fullest use of these development. Thus, we are avoiding muscle demanding work but intensively using machinery aides. Similarly, our way of nutrition intake has been changed to proper form and in scheduled way. From dusk to dawn we are so prudent and wise in assimilating balanced diet, keeping body fit by visiting gymnasium, saving loss of calories and time by using automobiles for transportation etc. Moreover, most of people nowadays are well educated and conscious of their own health. Therefore, this is putting our life span bit longer compared to the past which I partially believe is advantageous to us.I see two fundamental reasoning in favor of this.Firstly, most of us want to live longer to taste the advancement of future world and share our expertise to upcoming generation.Secondly, all families want to live their beloved for longer time. To exemplify, this is more evident in hospital where we can always observe that the family of patient whose life is almost at end is yelling for bit longer life. To illustrate more, a early demise of veteran professional is great loss for this world as it will cost much penny to raise another individual to bring up to this professional level.

On the other hand,others in against with living longer life might argue that this is absolutely not good as it might be a problem for maintaining ecosystem to this Earth and leads to unbalanced population of flora and fauna. Furthermore,it is highly pejorative to live longer because people will have to fight for opportunities such as jobs,food and shelters as well as transportation as many octogenarian people still occupy the position which is anticipated to be filled by new comers in this Earth. Therefore,according to Charles Darwin-'Struggle for existence' will be observed which in turn result deleterious effect like kidnapping, extortion and vandalism for their survival. Besides this, weaker will always remain weaker and similarly does the richer. Moreover, increasing population will have to deforest jungle in order to build their home and for making food which will slowly put the Earth deficit in resources.Consequently, extreme scarce in trees will stop precipitation level but increase in greenhouse gases like CO2 which is very harmful in depleting ozone layer thus by bringing global increment in temperature.

To conclude, though people want to live longer its disadvantages easily outweighs advantages. Therefore, I wholeheartedly suggest it is not good idea as we have to give equal opportunities to upcoming generation and play parental role towards them and take care of our ever best natural abode-The Earth.

niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Apr 10, 2014   #2
Time is running and we are keeping our pace so as to chase it but in doing so ourlife style of living lif e has also been changing from traditional and conventional to modern sophisticated luxurious form.

As a result, we are consuming healthier balanced diet and using less physical force in performing jobs which isare soaring our life expectancy a bit longer than we used to live in the past.

How about your own point of view? Please include it. That is part of an introduction.
Naveed786 8 / 21 4  
Apr 10, 2014   #3
People nowadays live longer than they used to. What caused this situation

In the bold section, prompt also asks you to describe what are the causes due to which people lover longer? I could not find this clearly elaborated in your essay, I would suggest if you could add it more specifically that would be helpful for reader to follow your thoughts.

Apart from that I think over all you have done a wonderful job and written correctly.

and of course follow the dumi's structure.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,203 467  
Apr 15, 2014   #4
You have written a very long essay. I am not sure that you can deal with the 40 minutes.
I see some ideas are gone for the topic.
To solve this, it is always better to start analyzing the prompt before writing the essay:
Fact: People nowadays live longer than they used to.
Task 1: What caused this situation? (the first body)
Task 2: Is it a negative or positive development? (the second body)

For intro:
A writer needs to keep in mind that the intro is often what a reader remembers best. Your intro should be the best part of your essay. If you could, state your own opinion in the introduction itself with a statement expressing your opinion very clearly.

To begin with potential merits, as we are stepping on this modern era of world which is driven by advanced form of technologies and lots of other advancement everybody has strong proclivity for living life with fullest use of these development. Thus, we are avoiding muscle demanding work but intensively using machinery aides.

This is gone for the topic.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Apr 15, 2014   #5
].... your body paras are pretty large and you would not be able to finish your essay on time if this is written for IELTS or TOEFL (your topic suggests that you are preparing for one of them). Follow dumi's suggestion seriously for your essay structure. It contains all necessary features as well as it helps you save time :)
Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Apr 15, 2014   #6
I think actually you did well, but I also doubt that you've finished it in 40 minutes.
But, one must note that your usage of vacabulary is excellent! I read it with dictionary)
kikiliyik 12 / 35 2  
Apr 15, 2014   #7
"I see two fundamental reasoning in favor of this" ( S+ V, agreement)


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