Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


People naturally resist making changes in their lives.What kind of problems can this cause


saddream 1 / -  
Sep 29, 2013   #1
Hi,everyone, I am improving my writing skill to take an IELTS test,I have been in this forum quite a long time but this is the first time I post an essays on my own.I hope you guys will give feedback to my essays and all I want to say is that any feedback from you guys will be very helpful and mean a lot to me.Thanks

And this is it:

People hardly ever interested in changing their lives.It is their natural to avoid any potential unexpected problems that could be happened if they changed their life style. But in my opinion, I strongly believe changes are virtually inevitable and resist it would solely make the problems even worse.There are two main reasons to support my idea.

Firstly, the people which refuse making changes could slow the entire progress of human evolution.More over, the modern world could still be a medieval ones if human were afraid to take a step forward and embrace the change.In contrast, there are various of great and innovative product that come from person who accepted change.For instances,the computers operation system that we are beneficially utilizing now would not be existed if Bill Gates was fear to taking change or the phone industry would be the same for the time being if Steve Jobs dare not to think different.These people confidently faced and challenged the fear of uncertain and they successfully surpassed it to brought so many incredible inventions into life.

Secondly,in this modern day,technology are quickly changing every minute and people are integrating it to every aspect of their life from works to studies.Therefore,avoiding changes will cause people stand still which they will be left behind while everyone is moving forward.For example,your colleague adopted and applied a brand new software while you still use an outdated version and it resulting in his significant better performance than you .Consequently, in short term you may lose the chance to get promotion but in long term you could lose your career.

Eventually, by resisting changes people also accidentally minimize the opportunities to achieve a better life and reducing the evolution chance for mankind.The solution I present is that we should not attempt any changes immediately but instead of applying it gradually.By doing so, the person would not be stunned by the adjustment and would willingly accept it.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Sep 30, 2013   #2
I think I used it correctly which was opposed to the two previous statement

don't think so. Through the first sentence you mentioned that the modern world has been a result of changes made by human beings. And you are continuing this idea over the next sentence, where you pointed out that new things could be invented by those who make changes in their lives. Do you think these two statements are different?
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Sep 30, 2013   #3
Hi saddream,

First of all, I hope you can provide the complete essay task next time as it is essential for us to
give a more efficient advice.
You do need to work on your grammar and choice of words such as nature instead of natural, operating system instead of operation system
this problem requires a lot of reading to be addressed

But in my opinion, I strongly believe changes are virtually inevitable and resist it would solely make the problems even worse.

this sentence should be removed, the task ask you to discuss what are the effects of people's resistance to change and why such...not to give your

own opinion and especially not to disagree with the idea..

hope this helps...
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 2, 2013   #4
People hardly ever interested in changing their lives.

... I think it is not fair to make such generalization. In the contrary, people look forward to change. For example, when we eat from the same restaurant for a while, then we would want to change the restaurant and try a new place. So, it is not fair to say everybody dislikes change. It depends on the individual.

It is their naturalnature to avoid any potential unexpected problems that could be happenedhappen if they changedchange their life style.

But in my opinion, I strongly believe changes are virtually inevitable and resistingit would solelyonly make the problems even worse.There are two main reasons to support my idea .

.... stop with expressing your opinion.
You need to pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Be careful when you use synonyms as they may look alike, but used in very different places. You have very good ideas :)


Home / Writing Feedback / People naturally resist making changes in their lives.What kind of problems can this cause
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳