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People naturally resist making changes in their lives.


mabubeo 1 / 1  
Aug 31, 2019   #1
Hi everyone,

Please take a look at my essay and feel free to make comments on my work. I am really grateful to you.

People naturally resist making changes in their lives.
What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?


Being too afraid of changes is a normal phenomenon but this makes some people avoid using new technologies or accepting modern philosophies. By doing this, they may sometimes lose good chances when competing with other people. One possible answer to this situation is for the government to launch campaigns to raise communities' awareness about the significance of flexibility in this era.

The foremost problem caused by reluctance to adapt is having fewer opportunities in landing a job. It is obvious that employers tend to prefer people equipped with knowledge of the cutting-edge. In almost every vitae curriculum there is a question asking about the applicants' skills at using computer or email. If those people are set in their ways, the state-of-the-art technological inventions may cause them difficulties. For example, over a past few years, many foreign companies do not have headquarters in Vietnam; however, they hire local agents to collect data and report to them via telecommunications, so to work with them needs employees to get used to technological devices.

One possible solution to this problem would be to help people, especially adults and young people to be more adaptable because they are likely to join labor force in near future. Via media and educational methods, the government should convey the message that people unwilling to embrace changes are subject to negative changes in this ever-changing world. Take labor force in some developed Asian countries like Japan or Singapore for example, it is clear that they are usually considered of high quality and they seem to be preferable in job competitions than workers from other regional countries just because they are prepared for changes early on in their life.

To conclude, whether changing is random or intentional, it takes place every day. Not being prepared for it would lead to one's incompetence; however, a good idea is to keep their knowledge and abilities up-to-date through education.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Sep 6, 2019   #2
@mabubeo
Hello there. I apologize for the delay. I hope that you find this feedback to be helpful as you venture into learning more about the language. If you have any more questions, please do not hesitate to approach us for it.

First and foremost, I find that the general flow of your essay lacks that fundamental structure. When referring to structure, this pertains to the usage of pauses and punctuation sprinkled throughout to ensure that you are relaying the message with more ease. Take a look at your introductory or first sentence. While it was great that you have been able to introduce the topic of the essay with such clarity, you need to be able to simplify and create a more concise pattern for your writing.

Be cautious as well as to how you compose your messages. The first sentence of the third paragraph needs a bit of work due to the lack of functionality. Linking that shorter line with the chunk of text added a bit of unnecessary complexity to the entirety of the message, making it even more difficult for readers to comprehend the text. Try to focus on clarity rather than merging everything in a sophisticated manner.
OP mabubeo 1 / 1  
Sep 8, 2019   #3
Thank you, Maria!


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