Unanswered [30] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


IELTS: PEOPLE OBEY TO INTAKE VARIOUS GRASS-FED ANIMALS IN ORDER TO OFFER BENEFIT TO ENVIRONMENT


aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Jun 13, 2015   #1
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole.

Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Since meat contains some hazardous chemical, some inhabitants neglect to intake various grass-fed animals. This positive development renders enormous advantages for their body and also for environmental where animal produces carbon emission which could reduce global warming. In my opinion, the idea of obeying red meat renders tremendous benefit for adults because they are on the period of on-going growth.

Ingesting processed food of cattle regularly causes several diseases since it contains various dangerous chemical. A scientific research from United States of America has confirmed that devouring red meat develops cancer. For example, in 2014, there will be an estimated 1,665,540 cancer suffers in US as such consuming red meat. They consume a considerable amount of meat in which they are having lunch or dinner frequently. Subsequently, saturated fat, another harmful chemical, is also obtained when people ingest some meat. Thus, people get involved in obesity. By obeying these kinds of diet, people intend to be health.

Neglecting to eat amount of meat renders positive development for the earth as animal's faeces produce carbon emission. To exemplify, studies from the national trust United Kingdom determined that livestock creates a staggering 18 per cent of world's carbon emissions which could reduce greenhouse gas emission. Consequently, it would benefit through the environment.

I am of notion that Consuming red meat creates beneficial effect for human particularly the teenagers as they are on the period of on-going development. A brief example of this is that red meat contains rich source of protein which is required. They need to ingest at least five ounces of meat every day. As a result, they possess great deal of energy needed for fulfilling their day-to-day activities.

The aforementioned evidence shows that although obeying amount of varied diet of livestock renders positive development for inhabitants and the environment, consuming meat has tremendous useful for human life particularly for the teenagers. Where possible, people are suggested to do not avoid meat. Instead, they could eat less grass-fed animal meat.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Jun 13, 2015   #2
- For example, in 2014, there will bewas ( the action has been done in the past, past tense of the verb should be use) an estimated 1,665,540 cancer suffers in US as such consuming red meat.

- They consume a considerable amount of meat in which they are having lunch or dinner frequentlyfor lunch or dinner .

- Thus, people getinvolved inbecomes obese and they have to deal with obesity their entire life .

- By obeying these kinds of diet, people intend to be healththink they are healthy .

- Neglecting to eat the right amount of meat renders positive development for the earth as animal's faecesfeces produce carbon emission.

- To exemplify, studies from the national trust of United Kingdom determined....

- Consequently, it would benefit through the environment.

- I am of notion that Consuming red meat creates beneficial effect forto human particularly the teenagers..

- As a result, they possess great deal of energy needed forto fulfilling their day-to-day activities.

- The aforementioned evidence shows that although obeying the amount of varied diet of livestock renders positive development for inhabitants and the environment,

- consuming meat has tremendous usefulcontributionforto human life particularly for the teenagers.

- Where possible, people are suggested to do notnot to avoid meat.

Asep, I made a few corrections as you can see above, I hope it helps
Once you this essay re - written, proof read it and you should be good to go.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
OP aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Jun 13, 2015   #3
Thank you for giving me some suggestion.
I would try to re-write my article in terms of your advise.
I am trying to improve my writing skills.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: PEOPLE OBEY TO INTAKE VARIOUS GRASS-FED ANIMALS IN ORDER TO OFFER BENEFIT TO ENVIRONMENT
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳