Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


People's opinion toward several communication skills that were important to use in working


Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
The table gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.

The table gives information about the percentage of people's opinion in 1997 and 2006 toward several communication skills including internal and external that were important to use in working. Overall, dealing with people showed the most important communication externally and selling a product was the less effective. The most important internal communication was listening carefully to colleagues and the reverse was making speeches or presentations.

To begin, four external communications were essential for working in 1997 and 2006. Dealing with people was chosen by 60 and 65 percent people respectively as the most. Knowledge of particular product service was a slight increase from 35 to 41 percent. It was the second larger essential. People decided that advising or caring for customers and clients also was essential to apply in work with increasing of number between 36 and 39. However, selling a product or service fell by 3%. Generally, it had an upward trend.

In 1997, listening carefully to colleagues obtained 38 percent and went up in 2006 to 40%. Making speeches or presentation was the lowest important between 7 and 11 percent. Three skills got the same numbers of quarrel around five from 1997 to 2006. There were instructing or training people, persuading or influencing others, and analyzing problems together with others. 204w



ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Hi Anna,
I would like to give you several inputs and remarks in order to improve your writing skill, especially when it is related to IELTS writing task 1. I hope the detailed descriptions below would be helpful.

1st paragraph:
- ...important to use in workingbe used in their works.
- Overall, it is noticeable that / it can be seen that dealing with people showed the most important external communication externally and selling a product was the less effectiveleast essential .

- The most important internal communication wasListening carefully to colleagues was appeared to be the highest percentage and the reverseopposite was making speeches or presentations. (using variations of active and passive senences would be beneficial in improving grammatical range and accuracy score.)

2nd paragraph:
- To begin with , four external communications...
- ... 60 and 65 percent of people respectively as the mosthighest percentage .
- ... product service wasexperienced/saw/witnessed a slight increase ...
- ... for customers and clients also waswas also essential to beapply inapplied at work with increasing of numberat approximately between 36 and 39.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Nov 1, 2016   #3
Hi Nur, here's another one from my end and it starts with the title;

- The ImportantImportance of Communication Skills in Workingat Work

- ... information abouton the percentage
- ... 1997 and 2006 towards several
- wereare important to use inwhile working.
- ... the most important external communication externally
- ... internal communication wasis

- To begin with , four external communications
- wereare essential forwhen working in ...
- as the most important form of communication skill .
-Knowledge of a particular product or service washas a slight increase from 35 to 41 percent.
- It was the second largemostr essential part in dealing with people .
- wasis essential to
- apply inat work with an increasing of number between 36 and 39.

There you have it Nur, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your analysis essay and for future writing reference, do work on your sentence construction as seen above and I hope you follow through.
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 2, 2016   #4
Hello Anna!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

Dealing with people was chosen by 60 and 65 percent people ...
It will better if you make comparison on it since 60 and 65 percent was taken in different time.
... 60 percent people in 1997 then it increased by 5 percent over 9 years in 2006.

Knowledge of particular product service was a slight increase ...
Itwas thesecond larger essential.
... customers and clients also was essential to apply in work...
These bold word shows repitition styles. You have to make a different style for each sentence if it is possible.

Hope it helps you :)
ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Nov 2, 2016   #5
Hello, i will give you suggestion:
1. Be careful to be(is, am, are, was, were) using, there are some mistake:

... internal communication wasis listening carefully (...) the reverse wasis making speeches or presentations

2. Check your conjunction and preposition using:

To beginwith four external communications ...

... was chosen byat 60 and 65 percent ...

It was the second largerlargest essential


Home / Writing Feedback / People's opinion toward several communication skills that were important to use in working
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳