Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Some people predict that, because of the spread of internet news, newspaper will disappear

leduongminh02 1 / -  
Jul 18, 2019   #1

magazines will be soon be replaced by online news

Some people agree that despite the spreading popularity of many types of social meadias, traditional newspaper will disappear in the near future. I completely agree with the statement that internet news will hold the most vital position among readers instead of magazines and newspapers.

Firstly,the convenience and easy access of internet will attract people to reading online news. With the wide spread of internet access around almost every conrner of the world, along with the rapid development of portable devices such as mobile phone, people can easily read news and look up information online.For example, latest news about a terrorist or a robbery will be updated almost immedately on news channel. In contrary to newspapers and magazines with many complex procedures such as printing or editting might not be able to update news to users in terms of the updating speed

Secondly, using internet-accessed devices to find out information is much cheaper and give owners more advantages than traditional means do. Internet users can put a lot of money aside for other stuffs instead of spending money on buying new magazines and newspaper per day.Furthermore, online news is able to convey visual information such as videos and sounds while paper can not do.For instance, people can listen to a new song of a famous singer or rewatch their favorite film anytime they want with only an internet-accessed device.

In conclusion, I personally believe newspapers and magazines will soon be replaced by online news in the near future.

lichien0422 5 / 8 3  
Jul 19, 2019   #2
Hi, your essay is well structured. However, I do have some suggestions to make.

1. The word choice despite in the first sentence seems a bit odd. I would use due to the fact / because.
2. The example in the third paragraph is off topic as listening to new songs / films is related to internet accessibility but not internet news.

Good luck!
nimbus2k2 8 / 25 6  
Jul 21, 2019   #3
Hi @leduongminh02
Be sure to check your spellings carefully when typing. There are some minor mistakes:
"other stuffs" - stuff is always in singular form
"buying new ... per day" - better be everyday or daily

Besides, try to apply more academic vocab in your essay, it'll help increase your band score.

Keep moving forward!

Home / Writing Feedback / Some people predict that, because of the spread of internet news, newspaper will disappear