Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

[IELTS]Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. Advantage or disadvantage essay.

Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Jul 2, 2018   #1
Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Saving or spending?

A large portion of people uses their money to purchase many things. However, they would rather spend all of the money instead of saving it. In this essay, I believe without saving as a habit to a person in life is a serious pitfall and I will elaborate with reasons below.

Indeed, a non-saving policy as a personal habit is dangerous to the future. Some people might overspend in a short period of time after paid day. They will soon get into debts because of over expenditure. The debts usually at a high rate of interest. They might not be able to get out of the debts ultimately.

Moreover, lack of savings insecure a person's financial situation. Since the inflation is rasing indefinitely, savings allow ones to have a backup plan for the economic crisis. This is a necessity for the people who work in unstable positions, such as cashiers or waiting tables. They usually face the foremost damage every time when the inflated rate raises.

Sometimes in life, a sudden emergency cost a fortune. For instance, if a family member discovers a breast cancer, the entire treatment is expensive. Saving money in the past can now help that family to pay off the treatment fees more easily. So it does not appear as a heavy burden to the family after all.

To recapitulate, lack of the mentality of saving money is a serious drawback. Overspending money can happen to all of us. Saved money secures people unease feelings when emergencies emerge.

Dear Holt, it has been a while since the last post I made, I hope you do well. I now return to this platform is hoping to know if my writing has improved since then. And I hope you can find time to score my essay. Thank you!

Phuongnguyen256 5 / 10 1  
Jul 3, 2018   #2
without saving as a habit -> the habit of money wasting of a person
paid day.->pay day
The debts are usually at ...
lack of savings insecure a person's financial situation->may harm..health
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,784 3106  
Jul 3, 2018   #3
SG, welcome back to EF. I am both happy to review your work and sad to give you my assessment of it. Unfortunately, your grammar has not greatly improved at this point. Your vocabulary is often wrong and your sentence structure and grammar really tends to confuse the reader. Most specially in the opening paraphrase. You need to be specific in your response to the question. Do not be flowery in your response. This is a simple positive or negative response question which should have been written as:

People these days tend to use their money mostly for purchases rather than setting it aside for future use. Some of the reasons that cause this are the desire of people to own things immediately rather than spending only on necessary items and a lack of future thinking with regards to their possible future financial needs. Considering the aforementioned reasons, this sense of spending rather than saving can be viewed as a negative development.

This is a direct question essay and requires an immediate response after the paraphrasing of the topic.

You need to work on the clarity and preciseness of your grammar. You have some questionable sentences due to coherence problems in your sentence structures in this essay such as :

... dangerous to the future. - Whose future?
-... dangerous to their future

... insecure a person's financial situation
- ... does not secure...

The debts usually at a high rate of interest.
- Their debts have a high interest rate

... or waiting tables.
- ... waiters

...inflated rate raises.
-highly redundant. You hare using 2 terms to describe the same thing.
- inflation rate

...can now help that family
- ...can help the family in the future.
- The situation has yet to occur in the future.

...lack of the mentality of saving money
-... lack of financial responsibility with regards to savings

Overspending money
- Redundant
- Overspending...

...secures people unease feelings
-... uneasy feelings...

Here is a my assessment of your possible score:

TA - 6

C&C - 5

LR - 4

GRA - 5

Hopefully I can work with you to help you improve your skills in the problematic areas of your writing now that you are back to practicing with us here at the forum.
OP Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Jul 4, 2018   #4
@Holt, thank you, for pointing out the problems that I have right now. The way I speak is actually what the writing will be, so this is my overall English language problem. Hopefully, I will not disappoint you when you see my next writing!

Home / Writing Feedback / [IELTS]Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. Advantage or disadvantage essay.