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IELTS: Some people prefer team sports rather than those which can be played individually


chauking09 1 / -  
May 4, 2019   #1

TEAM SPORT OR INDIVIDUAL SPORT



Essay topics: Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With a myriad of benefits which playing sports bring about, these activities become more prevalent in recent years. Therefore, it is daunting to decide on which type of sport to join. Some people prefer team sports to sports which played individually due to their superior advantages. I assert that both of them have their own virtues.

On the one hand, through partaking in a team sport, people arise the opportunity to hone their social skills and build rapport with the other members. In essence, team sports require the players for cooperating and understanding mutually which put winning into perspective. For instance, about football, regardless of how and what individual talents are, one has to assess the value of every teammate's abilities and strengthen the power of their positions to score the goal. More importantly, a team can create a supportive environment, which helps players stay motivated and keep pace with their teammates. Besides, being part of a team allows you to share the burden of loss as well as the precious winning moment.

On the other hand, solo sports can bring players a huge number of benefits, one of which is the cultivation and maximization of personal capacities. To be precise, without any assistance of others, one has to exert himself to the utmost to come up with solutions to win, which instill higher levels of self - reliance, discipline and passion into him. As a case in point, in tennis, a player has to strategize his ball serves, predict where the ball falls and be agile in his movement, which means that he can succeed on his own merits. Furthermore, when doing sports individually, people are liberated from the constraint of rigidly following a previously agreed plan, thereby having the freedom to experiment with new ways of playing. As a result, such players make progress at their own pace and have a high sense of satisfaction.

In conclusion, each kind of sports has its own merits, but in general, both aim at improving people's physical and mental health. Therefore, it depends on the players' personalities which they want to cultivate and develop to find the one suitable for them.

Maria [Contributor] - / 262 131  
May 4, 2019   #2
Watch out for your usage of preposition. I would also recommend looking into using alternatives that are more appropriate when you are constructing your lines. Using relevant articles can also go a long way in your articulation.

Let's revise the first paragraph as a reference.
With the myriad of benefits of playing sports, they have become increasingly prevalent over the years. Therefore, it is daunting to decide which sport to join. Some people prefer team-based ones to the individual ones because of the advantages. I assert that both of them have their own respective virtues.

[...]


Notice how I had switched a to the in the first sentence because of the more specific implications of your context. Furthermore, I also had ensured that I omitted portions of the text that are unnecessary to create more concise structures.

Creating these simpler and yet more forward lines can be beneficial for your essay.

Let's take these into account.

In the succeeding paragraph, I can rephrase it as:
On the one hand, partaking in team sports lets people have the opportunity to hone their social skills by building rapport with other members. In essence, team sports require players to cooperate and understand each other mutually to have a winning perspective. [...]

Apply these observations the next time you write.

Best of luck.


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