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TOEFL - People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology


cht1128 2 / 3  
Feb 4, 2012   #1
Essay Topic
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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303 words
Thanks in advance!
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The life today is totally different from half centuries before. Advances in technology do help humans to solve abundant of problems; however it also deprives of some things that we had. In my opinion, life in the old days brings more happiness to people than today for several reasons.

The first reason is life is simple in the past. Nowadays, all humans compete together. Since world population getting higher, competition is getting fierce. If you are not able to handle your jobs, then someone will replace you right away. People need to put much more effort to keep their living condition. Therefore, lives in the old days is easier than today.

Second, the environment today is serious damaged. Looking out the windows, what I see isn't sky, trees or mountains, but is coldly high buildings. Everyday, I walk on hard roads, breath in polluted air, and live in a limited space. What's worse, it has been proved that living in this kind of condition will result in some mental diseases. Thus, the environment our grandparents live is more comfortable than today.

The third reason is that the pace of life. Today, we are able to read the news all over the world, to chat with people through the Internet, or to travel around the world by planes; however, it also means that any thing happens in the world will affect our life. If we cannot react properly and immediately, then we will be in a vulnerable situation. We have no choice but have to live in a fast pace.

In conclusion, while there some people live in a pretty good condition, it is only a minority. People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology; nevertheless, behind the glamorous facade of it, what we loss will never be returned.
Spyridon - / 1  
Feb 4, 2012   #2
Hi my friend, take a look at my notes:

The life today is totally different from half centuries before[AGO] . Advances in technology do help humans to solve abundant of [without OF] problems; however it also deprives of [it lacks] some things that we had. In my opinion, life in the old days brings more happiness to people than today for several reasons.

The first reason is[WAS] life is simple in the past. Nowadays, all humans compete together [WITH EACH OTHER]. Since world population [IS] getting higher, competition is getting fierce [MORE FIERCE]. If you are not able to handle your jobs, then someone will replace you right away. People need to put much more effort to keep their living condition. Therefore, lives in the old days is [WERE A LOT ] easier than today.

Second, the environment today is serious[LY] damaged. Looking out the windows, what I see isn't sky, trees or mountains, but is coldly high buildings. Everyday, I walk on hard roads, breath in polluted air, and live in a limited space. What's worse [TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE], it has been proved that living in this kind of condition will result in some mental diseases. Thus, the environment our grandparents live is more comfortable than today.

The third reason is that [NOT THAT] the pace of life. Today, we are able to read the news all over the world, to chat with people through the Internet, or to travel around the world by planes; however, it also means that any thing happens in the world will affect our life. If we cannot react properly and immediately, then we will be in a vulnerable situation. We have no choice but have [WITHOUT HAVE] to live in a fast pace.

In conclusion, while there [WITHOUT THERE] some people live in a pretty good condition, it is only a minority. People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology; nevertheless, behind the glamorous facade of it, what we loss will never be returned.

GENERALLY: You tend to make a lot of mistakes, but your general idea is pretty good. The grade that i would put is 6.5/10 , due to the numerous mistakes you made, which are offset by your general ability to successfully grasp the meaning. Go on, and you will make it!
kabir1 1 / 3  
Feb 6, 2012   #3
The life today is totally different from half centuries beforeago . Advances inAdvanced technology do help humans to solve abundant ofmany problems; however it also deprives of some of the things that we had. In my opinion, life in the old days brings more happiness to people than today for several reasons.

The first reason is life iswas simple in the past. Nowadays, all humans compete together. Since world population getting higher, competition is getting fierce. If you are not able to handle your jobs, then someone will replace you right away. People need to put much more effort to keephold their living condition. Therefore, lives in the old days iswere a lot easier than today.

Second, the environment today today's environment is seriously damaged. Looking out the windows, what I see isn't sky, trees or mountains, but is coldly highhuge buildings. Everyday, I walk on hard roads, breath in polluted air, and live in a limited space. What's worse, it has been proved that living in this kind of condition will result in some mental diseases. Thus, the environment our grandparents live isin which our grandparents lived was more comfortable than today.

The third reason is that the pace of life. Today,Nowadays we are able to read the news all over theof whole world, to chat with people through the Internet, or to travel around the world by planes; however, it also means that any thing happens in the world will affect our life. If we cannot reactwill not take any actionproperly and immediately, then we It will be in create a vulnerable situation for us. We will have no choice but and we have to live in a fast pace.

In conclusion, while there are some people live in a pretty good condition, it is only a the minority. People are put too much focus on making wealth and progress in technology; nevertheless, behind the glamorous facade of it, what we loss will never be returned.
OP cht1128 2 / 3  
Feb 9, 2012   #4
Thank you, Spyridon.
I know I have difficulty in writing. Even writing an essay like this spent me 1 hour, and I'm supposed to finish it within 30 minutes. I will keep going. Thanks!

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Thank you, kabir1.
Those mistakes you pointed out are really helpful to me. Thanks!


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