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People's reason for quit the countryside is logical


a_p687 1 / 3  
Jul 31, 2012   #1
review my essay and give me critiques please.

many people leave their homes in the countryside to live in large cities.
what factors make people want to move to the city?how realistic is it to control the numbers of people moving to the city?


As far as I know, in the past decade, travelling to the larger cities have increased and it comes to be a noticeable problem and moreover led to some difficulties in larger cities such as huge population.it is due to the fact that people think that in larger cities there are more opportunities for gaining goals and wishes which there is not the same in countryside.

In addition, these days because of information which spread all over the country easily and quickly as well as that increasing knowledge and information about facilities and equipment in larger cities and lack of facilities and equipment in the home in countryside be the cause of that people who live in countryside's wanting increased and they are more ambitious in comparison with several years ago .therefore they prefer to bear some difficulties, afterward they can reach their goals.

In these situations, despite of the idea that some people like to live in calm and cities with comfortable situation, more of them choose living in larger cities to achieve goals.

I personally believe that in the situation with a lot of discrimination which exist between people who lived in countryside and people in larger cities it is reasonable and logical for them to leave their home in countryside to fallow their goals in big cities.

Honestly, to solve the problem, the government must be provide some factors which are necessary for the people who lived in countryside and identify the reason of abandoned and try to solve them.

In conclusion, based on what has been said, I personally believe that people's reason for quit the countryside is logical I did the same if I was in that situation because I like to fallow my goals and I bear all hardness for achieve them so for the solution government have to provide for people who live surrounding the big cities facilities to convince them they can achieve all they want there and there is no need for abandon their cities to reach their goals in another places.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Aug 1, 2012   #2
Hi :) I can help with your grammar.

As far as I know,In the past decade, travel to the larger cities has increased.and it comes toTravel can be a noticeable problem and moreovercan also lead to some difficulties in larger cities such aswith huge populations . it is due to the factIncreased travel is becausethat people think that in larger cities there areoffer more opportunities for gainingachieving goals.and wishesThese opportunities arewhich there is not the sameare not available in the countryside. (keep working on this... I tried to tidy it up for you.)

In addition, these days because of information which spread all over the country easily and quickly as well as that increasing knowledge and information about facilities and equipment in larger cities and lack of facilities and equipment in the home in countryside be the cause of that people who live in countryside's wanting increased and they are more ambitious in comparison with several years ago .


Wow :) You say a lot all in one sentence. Try to break it up into shorter sentences, to make it easier to understand. You have a few points to make here:

1) People in the country are lacking technology
2) country people realize that the city has more technology, and awareness has increased
3) this makes people want to travel to the city, to experience the technology
OP a_p687 1 / 3  
Aug 4, 2012   #3
thank you so much dear friend
wowww i have lots of problem.
can you please tell me how can i do to improve my writing.
i need to make it well as soon as possible:(
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Aug 5, 2012   #4
Hi again :) I can give you some more help.

In these situations, despite of the idea that some people like to live in calm and cities with comfortable situation, more of them choose living in larger cities to achieve goals.

Confusing... You are trying to say: "Some people are attracted to city life because they are trying to achieve goals, such as school or work."

I personally believe that in the situation with a lot of discrimination which exist between people who lived in countryside and people in larger cities it is reasonable and logical for them to leave their home in countryside to fallow their goals in big cities.

I don't know what you mean by discrimination... you mean city people see country people as inferior or less advanced? Clarify this statement.

Honestly, to solve the problem, the government must be provide some factors which are necessary for the people who lived in countryside and identify the reason of abandoned and try to solve them.

This is a weak argument, try to think of a real solution. You mean that a large city should offer a program for new residents who are unfamiliar with the area?

In conclusion,based on what has been said , I personally believe that people's reasonsfor quitto leave the countryside isare logical. I didwould do the same if I was in that situation, because I like to follow my goals.and I bear all hardness forIt is difficult to achieve them, so for the solution government has to provide for country people who live surrounding the big citieswithwelcome centers.to convince them they can achieve all they want there and there is no need for abandon their cities to reach their goals in another places.
OP a_p687 1 / 3  
Aug 8, 2012   #5
thank you so much dear friend
:-*
OP a_p687 1 / 3  
Aug 14, 2012   #6
[b]review my essay and give me critiques please.
The heavy traffic is a serious problem in big cities these days. So, the debate over possible solutions for decreasing people's eagerness on to use using their own cars is an interesting topic in many countries.

In spite of some belief that using private cars in crowded cities is inadvisable, many are of the opinion that it is not possible to leave their private car in their home. The thirst on for driving with one's own car in big cities has different reasons. One argument on in favor of using private cars is the lack of public transportation facilities. I mean vesting wasting time on waiting for buses or taxis is an important reason for why people use their own cars. A second common point supporting the eagerness on to use using private cars instead of buses or taxis is that bus or taxi stops are usually far from people's houses and they are not easy to access.

Although there are different reasons for prevention of people from using public transportation, there are a variety of ways to encourage people to decrease the usage use of their private cars. It could be claimed that an effective way to do this is increasing the number of buses, taxies, trains and etc. another way is to aware inform people about the disadvantageous disadvantages of using private cars such as heavy traffic and air pollution. As an example, the general health advertisements on Television is are an effective solution to achieve this aim.

In conclusion, based on that which has been said, I personally have come to believe that using private cars results in different problems and proposing methods to encourage citizens of large cities to use public transportation is so useful.
ana_p 27 / 81  
Aug 14, 2012   #7
Hi,

I am little bit confuse about your posts... Can you please clear my confusion...?

I think, last essay you posted is different than the previous one, you posted two different essays on the same thread, if so, then please start new thread with different essay. If it is not like that then please clear my confusion.

In addition, I would like to suggest that, writing language is different than speaking, it seems that, you are writing your essay as you speak. (this is what I felt after reading your essay..) I think, you should read some other well written essays, that will help you to understand the sentence structures in written language. (I totally agree with Jennifer, try to concentrate on your sentence structures, make it short and clear.. just a suggestion..)

Hope this helps.
Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana.


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