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Nowadays, most people rely on driving cars for their daily activities.


maulida07 6 / 7 1  
Aug 31, 2016   #1
Many people depend on their cars for everyday domestic, social, and working needs. However, unlimited use of cars causes a number of problems.
What are some of these problems?
What can be done to reduce the use of cars?


Nowadays, people relay on driving cars for their daily activities. Unfortunately, the increasing use of cars lead us to another problem concerning our environment such as air pollution and the lack of natural resources. Government's role to make strict regulation will be a great help to limit the use of cars.

One of the main issue caused by cars is air pollution. When a car's engine is running, several different types of gasses and particles are emitted that can have bad effects on the environment. For instance, we can make a comparison between the air's quality in big cities such as Jakarta and the small one. Jakarta feels very hot while we still can feel fresh air in small city with the less numbers of cars. The hot weather in Jakarta is caused by the vehicle emissions.

On the other hand, the increasing number on the use of cars will also lead to the lack of natural resources. Cars use gasoline to operate. Many cars means that there will be much gasoline needed while the amount of gasoline in our earth is very limited. If there is significant amount on the use of gasoline, then it is just about time until we will run out of gasoline and it will surely damage the stability of our environment.

To sum up, the unlimited use of cars will not be good for our environment to come. One alternative way to reduce the numbers of cars is the role of government as the stakeholders to make strict regulation on limiting the use of cars.

Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Aug 31, 2016   #2
Maulida :)

Nowadays, most people [it is better to state the number of people, such most people]relayrely[spelling] on driving cars ...
... use of cars leads us to another problemother problems concerning our environment, such as air pollution and ...
Government's role to make strict regulation ...Government's role to restrict the utilization of private car will be valuable in this term.

... unlimited use of carswill not be good for our environment to comeprivate vehicles brings detrimental effects on the environment . One alternative way to reduce the numbers of cars is ...Therefore, policy makers should introduce stringent regulations to tackle this phenomenon.
azmi23 17 / 28 3  
Aug 31, 2016   #3
hi! let me focus on your introduction and conclusion.

Nowadays, people rela y on driving cars for ...
i suggest you to give a brief explanation for each problem. let me try to paraphrase this sentence
"The dependence on conventional vehicle may cause several damage to environment due to hazardous emission that is produced. Moreover, this condition will increase a fossil fuel demand that consequently affects on declining of non-renewable resources. ......"


To sum up, the unlimited use of cars will not be good ...
it will be more powerful if you explain why government should limit the use of cars, what result will it bring by the regulation, and if possible, give an example (maybe 'car free day')
Heru22 5 / 7 1  
Aug 31, 2016   #4
hi maulida, i love your idea about problems which are caused by unlimited of using cars. Your body paragraphs are strong and you put your thesis statement clearly but i could find explanation about your solution. You mention in the introduction but you do not explain anymore about your suggestion. do you think it is clear just mention in introduction?. In my opinion, it is will be better if your body paragraph consist two paragraph, second paragraph is about problem explanation and third is about solution (because the task asks how to reduce increasing of use cars). And for your conclusion, you could paraphrase your thesis statement and don't forget to give recommendation.

good luck
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Aug 31, 2016   #5
Hi Maulida, forst of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I know you will find this website very helpful and a good reference to your writing projects. We strive to provide you the most accurate feedback for you to be able to create a well rounded and confident essay.

i notice this by the way, the word "relay" is not the right word for you in the sentence, the word should be "rely",rely on driving cars , this is how the sentence will be.

Overall, I believe the essay is well managed, you made sure that, other than the word above, the words you use in your essay are very conversational, they are not hard to understand and a normal reader will definitely appreciate the fact that they can comprehend the idea and the answer to the prompt.

Keep writing and be careful with your choice of words as you go along.
aidafitria18 9 / 14 1  
Sep 2, 2016   #6
One of the main issue caused by ...
For instance, we cancould make a comparison (...) in big cities such as Jakarta and the small one. Jakarta feels Big cities will very hot while we the small cities still can ...


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