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People are responsible for the path, the career they choose for themselves. Money vs fun in work.


thutyedaniel 32 / 38 17  
May 26, 2015   #1
Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion


These days, money becomes an essential part of people's lives. As such, several people believe that people who have comfortable job are more important than to earn much money because they need enjoyable in their jobs when they work. However, others think that a good salary will give people a better life since they can buy anything that they want. Therefore, I would argue that those statements have an influence for people's live because people have right to choose their wish.

On the one hand, people nowadays tend to spend their time for working to earn a lot of money to gain a better life. For instance, many parents today are spending lot of time for their jobs than to their children. This is because they think when they can give enough money for their children, all the problems will be done because the important thing that they can earn much money and it can make their children happy. As a result, this action has no guarantee if people have much money and then they can achieve a better life.

On the other hand, people also need to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Firstly, when people are feeling happy in their jobs, it will result a good effect on their lives especially in their workplace without think about money. Also, people can feel free, it means they do not think that it is more important for people when they work base on their heart.

To sum up, it is evident than both trends have value itself, so people should be careful for their choices. It is imperative that people also should know about the impact of their choices when they make a decision in their lives.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 26, 2015   #2
- On the oneother hand, people nowadays tend to spend their time for working to earn a lot of money to gain a better life. -

- For instance, many parents today are spending a lot of time for their jobs than to their children.

- This is because they think when they can give enough money forto their children, all the problems will be done because the important thing is that they can earn much money and it can make their children happy.

- FirstlyFirst , when people are feeling happy in their jobs, it will result a good effect on their lives especially in their workplace without think about money.

- Also, people can feel free, it means they do not think that it is more important for people when they work base onwith their heart.

Daniel, your essay is good. It started very good and ended far better than it sounds. You were very objective, however I suggest the following;

- be objective all the time, so as not to confuse your readers

- your opinion matters most so as much as you can, stick to the facts that you can gather

- linking verbs has a very large impact in making a sentence prove its sense, so mind your linking verbs

- proof read you articles all the time

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 26, 2015   #3
Hi @thutyedaniel, kindly find my feedback below.

As such, several people believe that people who havehaving a comfortable jobworkplaceareis more important than to earnearning much money because they need enjoyable in their jobs when they workto enjoy every working hour .

Therefore, I would argue that those statements have an influence for people's live because people have right to choose their wish.
You should expand this sentence to how can this statement influence others' lives or what kind of influence it is.

Good luck!
Naph 9 / 17 6  
May 26, 2015   #4
Hello
- I would argue that those statements have an influence in people's live because people have...
-For instance, many parents today are spending a lot of time for their jobs than to their children.
-all the problems will be done because the most important thing that
I read your essay and help me to improve my writing.
best regards


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