Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 2_ People have the right to university education, and government should make it free

scully_vananh 3 / 2  
Oct 31, 2017   #1
Please give me some feebacks. Thanks so much.

Topic: Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

free education will have a negative consequences

Many people argue that universities are available to everyone from all walks of life. While I believe that higher education is a human right, I disagree that governments should offer a free university education to all people.

On the one hand, higher education will bring a lot of advantages to the young. Firstly, going to universities or colleges is a huge opportunity to learn and build a solid knowledge base. This will be useful and practical for those who want to become teachers or pursue a postgraduate degree. Secondly, universities give students an open environment to develop essential skills for the future. For example, they can make friends with other students coming from other countries, exchange languages, and learn about different cultures. As a result, their communication skills will be better, and they also have a deeper understanding of the world around them.

However, I disagree with the idea that universities should be free to everyone. In Vietnam, if the government provided free university education, this would lead to low quality of education. When a student doesn't have to pay free tuition fees, he can consider learning as a hobby and show a lack of commitment. Meanwhile, people who are forced to pay for their education will attempt to achieve good results at universities because it's their investment for future. Furthermore, there are many other sectors which need the support of government funds. When tuition fees are shared, governments have extra money to provide for health care, environment, and public transportation.

In conclusion, everyone has the right to access universities or colleges. However, I believe that free education is not affordable because this will have a negative effect on students, governments, and the whole society.

Bobovikisan 3 / 4 1  
Oct 31, 2017   #2
Hi, great essay, it is very coherent and flows smoothly! You structured your arguments well and have almost persuaded me. What you are missing are is the "Why?" "Why would the free education lead to low quality of education, in Vietnam?" When you claim something you must explain your statement, so the reader understands why you made that claim. Also do not use words as firstly and secondly, just state what you want to say in the first sentence. If you ask a teacher they call this a Topic Sentence, one sentence that gives the main idea of a paragraph. Overall good work! :)
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,827 2622  
Oct 31, 2017   #3
Van, you did not accurately paraphrase your prompt topic and discussion instruction. So you will lose TA points for that. This is an extent essay and yet you did not reveal an extent in your discussion presentation. You turned this into a comparative essay when it is a single opinion essay. However, if you used the correct paraphrasing of the discussion instruction, you would have been able to continue using this comparative discussion for the essay. The proper prompt requirement, based upon your existing discussion is:

University education is a right according to some people. That is why the government should shoulder educational expenses for all students, even if that student happens to be from a wealthy family. I partially agree with this statement for a number of reasons.

While I realize that Vietnam is the most obvious reference point for examples for you, it should not be used as the example in IELTS essays. In fact, no specific country should be used in reference to examples in a discussion unless it is absolutely necessary or applicable to do so. That is because the examiner will not be a Vietnamese so he will not be conscious of the educational travails of the country. This renders your example weak. Relying in common information instead and examples that apply to any country is always the best way to go so that the reviewer doesn't need specialized knowledge when reading and assessing your essay.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2_ People have the right to university education, and government should make it free