IELTS WRITING TASK 2. ESSAY THROW-AWAY SOCIETY
Many people say that we have developed into a "throw-away society" because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To want a degree do you agree with this opinion?
It is argued that humans have been in a "throw-away" lifestyle. And it's become worst as we have been dumping a large amount of non-biodegradable rubbish. I find myself in complete agreement with this opinion for the following reasons.
To begin with, there was a dramatic increase in the use of plastic bags. Those which are non-biodegradable will have existed a thousand years in our habitat. Therefore, a long time later, humans and other species will not have abode. More specifically, plants can not grow up with a large amount of plastic under the land.
Furthermore, according to the nearest environment research in a reputable university, the number of garbage climbed exponentially including domestic, industrial, and medical waste. This situation makes an urgent issue for human society that effective and timely solutions to dispose of them. If not, it will become the main culprit of increasing environmental problems. For instance, many residential areas have been polluted air and water because their living locations are near a huge landfill.
That is not to say that plastic bags just bring disadvantages to human life. People tend on single-use or disposable plastic because they believe that these items are cheaper, more convenient, and hygienic. However, the drawbacks of them causes are far greater.
In conclusion, I would concur with those who believe that human effect leads to creating a "throw-away society" by filling up our habitat with so many plastic bags and garbage that we are not able to process all.
Sorry, I cannot savvy your last idea, I don't understand why "the drawbacks of them causes are far greater". So, I think that you should make your ideas logical to convince readers, sir.
Thanks so much for your advice. I wrote again this paragraph. Is it better?
That is not to say that plastic bags just bring disadvantages to human life. In fact, people tend on single-use or disposable plastic because they seem that these items are cheaper, more convenient, and hygienic than some friendly-environment products. However, the negative effect of plastic bags on human life causes is far greater.
Thanks so much
In my own experience, I would not separate parapraghs with 2 sentences each like you did. I think it is more logical to write a full paragragh with 4 or 5 sentences before switching to another one, it would be easier to follow your ideas.
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The essay is short of the minimum word count by 2 words. You have 248 words out of 250 words. Yes, there will still be a slight deduction of percentage points due to this. Nobody can expect to get past the percentage deduction for coming in under the word count. So be careful and remember to keep track of your words.
Please remember to not use connecting words like "and" at the start of a sentence. If you want to use that word, then use a comma in the previous sentence after using "and". That way it will connect 2 thoughts into one sentence.
Your paragraphs are not very well thought out nor developed. You should learn to outline your discussion process before writing. Don't just keep typing or writing and then hope that the paragraph will make sense, because it won't. You have to clearly connect your sentences using a clear writing process:
Sentence 1 - Topic
Sentence 2 - Reason
Sentence 3 - Explanation
Sentence 4 - Example
Sentence 5 - Explanation to support the example
Unless you can provide a clear discussion presentation based on the above format, or a variation thereof, your paragraphs will remain unclear to the reader.