Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others

leira1709 1 / -  
Nov 7, 2021   #1
Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time.

Discuss both this view and give your opinions.

(INTRODUCTION) Opinions differ as to whether physical education is a crucial subject of system education or whether students should concentrate on academics when they study at school. This essay will examine both the pluses and the minuses of physical education and academic lessons, as well as give some personal thoughts about this issue.

(Body paragraph 1) It is a positive fact that students need to learn physical classes at school. The main reason why students have to study physical activities at school is due to the development of both physical and mental health. For instance, students need to learn yoga, badminton, volleyball, etc. in class. Subsequently, they would have good health and fit bodies to stand up to the pressure from studying and social life. Furthermore, schools also create physical education classes to help students reduce stress and anxiety after difficult subjects such as Math, History, etc. A good illustration of this condition is students will feel conscious to prepare for the next lessons after going outside to enjoy the atmosphere. Last but not least, physical education can help children have more skills to improve their health such as swimming which is one of the most important facilities for everyone.

(Body paragraph 2) On the other hand, it is more vital for students to concentrate on academics during the school day. First of all, some parents think that long-hour study of special training courses is more required for their future's progeny than other games or physical activities. That is because, in modern life, various top universities require their students to have a perfect report to follow the educational programs at these schools. We can see that if you want to pass the entrance examination to the universities which have high reputation, you have to highly focus on some compulsory subjects like Mathematics, Literature, and English. Additionally, they believe that games or other sports will not help them succeed in life or choose a suitable career. Therefore, all of their attention should be focused on science and other vital subjects in school.

(CONCLUSION) To reiterate, I strongly believe in the numerous advantages of physical education in terms of healthy growth and development as well as relieving stress and anxiety. However, there are several plus points to concentrate on academics during school time regarding broadening children's general knowledge and also orienting students to have a better future.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,666 4113  
Nov 8, 2021   #2
When using the 2 paragraph format for this comparative discussion, you must provide your point of view for each public opinion. That means you have to present your opinion at the end of the public analysis.These general statements are unacceptable as you fail to identify the difference between the public opinion and your personal point of new. This leads to confusion for the reader who needs to identify the differing opinions.

You cannot reiterate an opinion in the conclusion that was notspelled out in the previous paragraphs. This is the one opinion essay discussion that does not use a single point of view. The lack of correct 3rd person and first person pronouns is the source of the presentation confusion.

Home / Writing Feedback / Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others