regular reading is Beneficial
It is sometimes argued that books enable people to achieve a higher quality of creativity and perform language skills in a better way than watching TV. While many sometimes gain benefits from watching video, I think it is usually better to engage in reading books.
It is obvious that watching TV is not the right choice due to some factual reasons. Firstly, watching TV for a long period of time may harm our eyes to some extent, and therefore, they can suffer from refractive errors, especially myopia. Secondly, as videos sometimes are just for entertainment purposes, they sometimes have unreliable information, which can lead to serious misunderstanding in gaining knowledge. Thirdly, many websites like Youtube contain too many advertisements and thus, the users may show a higher level of annoyance over the interruption. For example, when I was watching a detective film last night, the three-minute advertisement made me feel uncomfortable, and in my opinion, switching to this activity is worthless.
I believe that more and more concentration should be put on reading books instead. It is much more effective for readers to gain exposure to the formal words used in context because books are commonly written by professional authors. Furthermore, books can also enhance focused attention, and thus, this can greatly contribute to immersing people in every fine information they are absorbing. Additionally, books also allow readers to develop imaginative skills, which is not likely to be easily acquired by watching television. For example, when reading Harry Potter, readers often have to conceive of fierce battles between Harry and supervillains, which can form a strong attachment to them.
In conclusion, I agree that books are likely to be a much handier tool which supports the development of practical skills than videos.
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I think it is usually better to engage in reading books.
Your informative response based on the prompt requirement is incorrect and offers a prompt deviation. The response required is in disagreement based on your emotional support for the given statement. The question was: To what extent do you agree or disagree? Rather than offering a response based on strength of personal belief, you offered an unclear and unelated opinion response instead. Even in the conclusion, you stated :
which is still an incorrect response because it lacks the measured response strength. Your TA score fails twice:
- Unrelated prompt response in the prompt restatement
- Incorrect response format in the concluding summary
Review the proper response format for a measured response essay. I believe you are unfamiliar with this advanced writing task. You better start with the simple task questions for now.
If you look at the band descriptors for writing task 2, you will see the words "extend" and "develop". This means if you want a high score, you need to extend and develop your ideas.
Take your essay for example:
"It is much more effective... written by professional authors. (1)
Furthermore, books can also... they are absorbing. (2)
Additionally, books also... acquired by watching television." (3)
The three sentences talked about three different things, and there is only one to be extended (3). You may be good at brainstorming for ideas, but to develop and extend them is the thing that matters. For example, you can say why the point (1) matters or talk about long-term benefit of point (2).
Another thing, why could you say "books can also enhance focused attention" - there is no support or explanation, so the point is unclear. Remember, examiners are not expected to guess what you're writing, so pls improve your clarity of your sentences.
That's the writing style I was taught, so feel free to discuss if you disagree.