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People should speak a global language in a global word


eminhaqi 4 / 7  
Jul 20, 2016   #1
Writing an essay arguing for or against the statement below.
Subject: People should speak a global language in a global word.

These days, people are speaking many different languages. Some believe that there should be use of a common global language, whereas those contrary to this idea believe there will be loss of different cultures and difficulty in expressing emotions and feelings.

Firstly, a global language will destroy the diversity of culture. Language has always been a part of culture since the beginning of time. With one common global language, people will be disconnected and removed from their culture. For example, Turkish culture is moulded with Islamic culture, which is the religion of Muslims. The Turkish word 'Allahısmarladık', which is a special word, is the same as the English words 'bye bye' or French word 'au plaisir'. If there is one common global language, the meaning of 'Allahısmarladık' will disappear and this culture will be eliminated.

Secondly, emotions and feelings can be suppressed by having one language. People use the same idioms and expressions with a global language. This means special idioms and expressions are gone. For instance, 'where is this water coming from' which is a special idiom in turkish, means 'where is money for this work coming?'. Like this example, every language has special idioms and expressions and these special idioms disappear when using a global language.

All of these points show us, a global language will destroy the diversity of culture, emotions and feelings. Before using a global language people should consider the outcome of this.

Can you review my essay? How can I improve it? How can I make it more academic (words, expressions and structure)? Thank you.

PS: It's not an essay for the TOEFL, but it's similar. My school wants us to use "firstly" and "secondly" instead of "first" and "second."

nguyendinhtuong 4 / 14 9  
Jul 20, 2016   #2
It's OK to use either firstly/secondly or first/second. Using firstly/secondly when you are writing an IELTS essay or in UK educational system. Using first/second for TOEFL essay or in US educational system. Other things in academic style remain the same.

Some believe that there should be use of a common global language, whereas those contrary to this ideaothers believe there will be loss ofmany different cultures and difficultydifficulties in expressing emotions and feelings. (What is your idea in this paragraph?)

Language has always beenremained a essential part of culture since the beginning of timefor such a long time . With one common global language, people willcould be disconnected and removed from their culture.

You should show your agrument for or against the topic in the first paragraph. In the third paragraph, you should show your agruments to weaken the opposite one then strengthen your idea.
OP eminhaqi 4 / 7  
Jul 20, 2016   #3
Thank you. However, I do not understand what I should write for the first paragraph. Would you please show an example? @nguyendinhtuong
nguyendinhtuong 4 / 14 9  
Jul 20, 2016   #4
I mean you should show your idea in the first paragraph so the reader could easily get your points along with your essay. More specifically, in this essay, you seems to disagree with speaking a global language. You could say that in 1st paragraph, or people call it thesis statement which show readers what you will be writing about


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