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TOEFL: People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things ......


Buzz8177 1 / -  
Jul 2, 2011   #1
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do.

The topic of the thing people should spend time on can be approached to different angles due to it's complexity. Some people prefer people today spend too much time on enjoyment than the thing they should do while others disagree with it. I have also develop my own point of view. I favor the first position, stating that people spent too much time on doing the thing they like to do rather than taking responsibility on the thing they should do.

First of all, it is easier than before that people can access any kinds of entertainment by using internet. Which means that people only need to turn on the computer and then they can find the information of entertainment such as music, movie, or gossip by using searching engine, Google. The faster the information that people can get form internet, the more time people spend time on the tool. For example, if you were a office worker, the first thing you will do in whole day is turn on your smart phone to check the response of your friends on facebook on your way to office. The best time for you to brows the new on CNN is the first half hour when you get in the office; the timing to see a movie trailer on youtube is when your boss doesn't pay attention on office. Finally, you will sacrifice too much time unconsciously on the thing you should do because it is too easy to access this entertainment.

Second, the ivention of smart phone also cause a deep affection on the way of enjoyment. Especially the handy application from different kinds of softwore companies including game, movie, music. This cheap, sometimes for free, and handy application let us spend too much time on entertainment even we have many serious thing to do. For instance, many student using smart phone such as iphone playing video game or using facebook during the class because smart phone is small and not easy to be fund by teachers, and it affect the time for students on learning.

With the reasons above, I think people spend too much time on enjoyment than the thing they should do. That is not to say, other points of view are completely without merit. However, I thinks the reason I have developed in favor my own point of view are stronger.

winniesun 9 / 19  
Jul 3, 2011   #2
You did just careless mistakes. You should also add some strong facts to your conclusion.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Jul 4, 2011   #3
That first sentence is a difficult one! I tis difficult to refer to a topic this way. I'll give a suggestion about how to do it:

The topic question of how people should spend their time can be approached from different angles due to it's complexity. ---Now it is a great sentence!!

Some people prefer people today spend too much time on enjoyment than the things they should do, while others disagree with it such a practice. I have also developed my own point of view.

First of all, it is easier than before that people can for people to access any kind of entertainment by using the Internet.

Which This means that people only need to turn on the computer, and ...

The best time for you to browse the news on CNN is the first half hour when you get into the office; the time to see a movie trailer on Youtube is when your boss doesn't pay attention at the office. ---Ha ha... :-)

Finally, you will sacrifice too much time unconsciously on the things you should not do because it is too easy to access this entertainment.

Second, the invention of smart phone also cause a deep affection on the way of enjoyment.---This sentence does not really make sense. Can you simplify it?

With the reasons above, I think people spend too much time on enjoyment rather than on the things they should do.

:-)


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