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People nowadays don't spend too much time on their personal enjoyment because they can't - TPO


sircampbell 1 / 1 2  
Aug 24, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays,the view that people are spending too much time on things they like to do rather than things they should do is becoming widely spreaded and even generally accepted, while i don't feel this way on account of following reasons.

To begin with, sometimes people might have to spend most of their time on things they should do because they are not affordable to the things they like to do. Take myself as an example, as an university student, i like to travel around the world to learn the different people and different culture.However, to be a world-traveler is time and money-consuming.On the one hand,i don't have enough time to take a long journey due to the learning pressure if thinking of the unfinished assignments and furious competition in my class. On the other hand, even confessing that i have enough time since i have both summer and winter holiday, i don't have money. In my spare time, i still stay in library to review courses and read some favorite books,which is the most economic way for me to spend holiday.

Same logic may also be applicable to people who are at work.It is beyond doubt that the advancement of modern technology has greatly facilitated and intelligentized people's work. But the advancement of technology doesn't necessarily mean that people have more spare time than before to pursue their favorite things. Most employees have to work five days a week,which is common globally,some even have to work overtime or choose to work six days a week to increase their income to deal with the upsurging living pressure under the background of urbanization.Accordingly, for most common people, they don't have enough to do things they like to do,not to mention spending too much time on things they should do.

However, it is true that the development and improvement of technology has enriched our ways of entertainments and a larger number of people are affordable to overseas journey.But phenomenon just appears among rich people,who just amounts to small proportion of general population. Moreover, people are not lived for hardships and are entitled to enjoy their lives.In other words, from my perspective, people will never spend too much time on enjoyment if conditions warrant it.

As noted above,it naturally comes to the conclusion that people nowadays don't spend too much time on their personal enjoyment because they cannot. If conditions permits, there is no such saying that they spend too much time on personal enjoyment.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Aug 24, 2014   #2
Just a few grammatical corrections that you should apply:

1. Spreaded - spread

2. even - generally accepted will suffice

3. Capital I for first person tenses

4. [sThey are not affordable to the things] - they cannot afford to do things

5. if thinking of the unfinished... - if I think...

6. I still stay in the library...

7. read some of my favorite books which the most economical...

8. The same logic...

9. and intelligenized

10. ways of entertainment...

11. ... people do not live for hardships

12. ... if conditions permit
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Aug 24, 2014   #3
Nowadays,the view that people are spending too much time on things they like to do rather than things they should do is becoming widely spreaded and even generally accepted, while i don't feel this way on account of following reasons.

This is not a strong introduction. It is just one long sentence too :( You need to write an effective intro as it is going to make the first impression about your writing to the reader. I think you need to re-do this one!

To begin with, sometimes people might have to spend most of their time on things they should do because they arecannot affordnot affordable to the things they like to do. ...

Again, what does this sentence mean? You need to come up with a strong argument here to convince your reader.... This is not clear :(


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