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People want stay healthy. Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest.


biggestv 5 / 13  
May 28, 2009   #1
Toefl topic:
People do different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specefic reasons and examples to support your answer.

My essay:

Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest. For me it's even more necessary. Because I believe fittness is key to sucess for a physcial therapist. For staying healthy I do three things first of all starting my day with meditation and light yoga; preperaing my own healthy food and; jogging for half an hour in the evening.

Being a physical therapist I have leared proper techincs of yoga and meditation. I also know the advantages of it. In the early morning, starting with "pranayam" I enjoy the fresh oxygen. Slowly with light yoga aasanas like "bhramari asana" I stimulate my brain and body. With some other poses like "surya nameskar " and "pawan mukat aasana" I get flexibility and strength for the body to resist whole day exertion. After that I finish it with "shav aasana" which relaxes the body.

Food is also very important for good health. I prepare my meals by myself. I try to make it completly filled with all the required nutrients. Lot of salad and fruits are always part of my diet. I believe it is also necessary to eat hygenic food. For that home made food is the right choice.

Thirdly and most importantly, jogging for half an hour is a routine for me. After I am back home, I want to get relaxation and need fresh air. For that I love to jog. Advantages of it need no discribtion. I jog for half an hr and after that 5 mins of cool down. I love to spend time near my park, watching small children playing.

I do these three things religiousely to keep myself upto the mark in my personal and professional life.

Please review it. Does it still contain run-on-sentences??
Am I improving ? Or still the same.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
May 28, 2009   #2
Yes, you are improving. I don't see any run-on sentences!

A few corrections:

Health is necessary to enjoy the life to the fullest. For me it's even more necessary. Because I believe fittness is key to sucess for a physcial therapist. For staying healthy I do three things,first of all starting my day with meditation and light yoga; preparing my own healthy food; and jogging for half an hour in the evening.

When you add "because" to the start of a sentence, that changes it into a subordinate clause and, thus, a sentence fragment.

For that, home- made food is the right choice.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
May 28, 2009   #3
Conciseness is a virtue:

"For me it's even more necessary. Because I believefitness is the key to success for a physical therapist.

Also, don't forget that you can use your word processor's spellchecker on your drafts before you post them. This will eliminate a lot of minor errors and make your writing easier to read.

While you still have some grammatical errors, your thoughts are generally clear and easy to follow, which is promising.
OP biggestv 5 / 13  
May 29, 2009   #4
Thanks guys,

Ya I know about spell check, but it is not available in toefl exam.Thats why I dont use it, so that I will have the practise of writing correct spelling.

I am gonna take exam tommorow.
I'll let you know about the result.

Thanks for all your help and guidance.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
May 29, 2009   #5
Very smart and alert of you to turn off spell check when practicing for TOEFL so as to learn not to rely on that as a crutch. One thing you might do, when practicing, is to complete the essay without spell check and then turn on spell check to catch your errors and learn where it is that you tend to make spelling mistakes.
Notoman 20 / 419  
May 29, 2009   #6
It is smart to turn off spell check. I hadn't thought of that, but I think I will try it. I often find myself using the *wrong* word and spell check doesn't help with that kind of stupidity.

principal/principle
compliment/complement
lose/loose
chose/choose
appraise/apprise
complacent/complaisant

Organization seems to be a strength with your writing. You do a good job of mapping out a plan and sticking to it.

When you say "hygienic" I know that you mean "healthy," but in English "hygienic" more commonly means "clean." "Healthy" or "wholesome" might be better word choices here.

leared proper techincs

I know that you wrote this without the benefit of spell check, but proofread and listen to the words in your head . . . learNed and techNIQUEs.

hr and after that 5 mins

Spell out the words "hour" and "minutes." You should also be spelling out the word "five," but that is nitpicking.

watching small children playing

It should be "play" instead of playing. I don't know why. I thought I would be able to explain, but I can't.

Good luck with the exam!
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
May 29, 2009   #7
Notoman, That is such excellent advice!! Thank you for participating so actively in peer editing. That's what makes this forum work!


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