Hallo guys. this is my first essay. I need your help for improving my writing skill, particularly on IELTS.
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Several years ago, it is believed that numerous inhabitants staying in the settlement were close one another. However, in the modern time, societies living in the cosmopolitan merely have a few people communicating as well. While there are several benefits living in a small community, it also has certain drawbacks.
The mankind staying in a small community such as in the settlement will obtain kinship relationship. It is due to the fact that they can communicate regularly. To demonstrate, in the recent decades, many people living in villages in Indonesia such as Purwokerto, Cirebon and Kuningan and the other villages often make a conversation with their neighbourhood everytime. As a consequence, even though they live in a small community, yet they feel as a small family.
On the other hand, this circumstance occasionally causes several drawbacks for the inhabitants. First and foremost, living in a small community such in the rural area affects to boring condition in case local people stay in a long period. It is because they never encounter with the other people on their day-to-day lives. For instance, they always meet with the same people every day. Also, they will feel uphill when they face some accidents in order to ask a help since their neighbourhoods are busy in their garden or field in diurnal and nocturnal. To sum up, living in a small community sometimes deteriorates people.
In conclusion, it is evident that although there are some benefits obtained from living in the countryside, the people address certain disadvantages as well. It is imperative that people should come over to another community to get new experience and do not stay for a long time in the small village.
Hi asep, I think your introduction need to rework.
Please, attention to the question. it is better for your to mention what are the advantages and disadvantages, if the task about these.
Let's me try:
In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Community living means that people know each others like people in the past live in small village. Today, lots of people prefer living in large industrial cities which make them know limited people around their environment. For this reason, I strongly believe that the chance to take much more money and to find high-quality of education for children are vital factors which encourage people to move to cities, whilst less opportunity in work and unhealthy crowded environment are drawbacks for them.
