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IELTS TASK 2 - People should study what they really immerse in it

Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 11, 2016   #1
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Everyone plans a triumphant future. Some people say student in college should takes their major that mostly enjoyable, others believe they should take the most convenient subject, for instance; science and technology. Although it becomes easy to find job, but they may not delight in their position, therefore I believe they should acquire what they really relish, because they can being immerse in it, so they can give the best result.

In this modern era, many people study in science and technology because they think will find job easily even do not enjoy it, just undertake perforce. For instance parents ask their child to join in Technical College, he will study there and get job, because there are numerous vacancy, but he cannot relish it along his life. As a result, he feels meaningless. It is clear that people cannot performs well in things they do not enjoy, although it is useful in that time for others.

However, people who carry out study what they relish, give the outstanding result. Because he is immerse and waxes enthusiastic about his plan. For instance, someone who is fond of photography will search every attractive object and sacrifice his time, money even energy to discover it. As a result of this, he produces an excellent result and becomes a well-known artist. Everyone appreciate his pictures and it delivered him to be a successful man. People get success in their life if they enjoy their task and depends on their preference and aptitude.

In conclusion, students who study the useful subjects such as science and technology, can find job easily but will be hard to get success in future if they do not enjoy it, yet students who relish the enjoyable studies will get more successful since they always present the outstanding result. Therefore, parents should allow their children to choose studying in preference subjects and which is appropriate to their talent.

justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 11, 2016   #2
Hi Ester, I have read this essay and I was hoping that you will be able to take note of the suggestions we have for you in your previous essays, however, most of the minor adjustments in your essays are still quiet visible, especially in this essay here. See, the thing is, you have an almost perfect essay, you have the idea, you know how to write it, what to write and what information is to be added in the essay.

Now, I will not elaborate this minor details further but I would simply put it this way, a complete sentence will never be complete if it lacks the necessary linking verbs, so you have to make sure that this is included in the sentences in your essay.

I hope to further review your revised essay when you're ready.
nabila05 8 / 12  
Apr 22, 2016   #3
Hi, Ester. I have read your essay and it is very understandable. However, I would like to give you some corrections to help you enhance your writing. Please mind my corrections below:

- student in college should takes
- Although it becomes helps them find job a job easier
- but they may not delightbe satisfied in their position
- in their position, therefore I believe ==> you could write in their position; therefore, I believe or in their position. Therefore, I believe
- many people ==> you could change with the majority of people to avoid repetition
- because they think it will help them find a job easily
- there are numerous vacancyies

There you have it, Ester. I hope the corrections are useful and helpful to your revision. Keep writing :)

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