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IELTS ESSAY , WHY DO MANY PEOPLE SUPPORT THE DEVELOPMENT OF AGRICULTURE ?


hoanghai549 5 / 13  
Apr 25, 2011   #1
Topic : Many people support the development of agriculture, such as actory farming and creation of new fruits and vegetables. Others oppose to the idea. Present both sides and give your opinion .

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The investment of agriculture has become a wide dicussed topic in our society recently. Some people believe that agriculture should be taken as a main energy part of life while others think technologies should be encouraged instead. In this essay, I will elaborate on this controversial phenomenon.

All people know that health and decease always have an important impact on agriculture process. Goverment recently take care so much about the quality of agriculture product such as food anf vegetables because people can not live without these. Moreover, buisiness related agriculture reaches to improve the economic in a country. It motivates the labor market and to reduce the unemployment happening in modern life. For example, some poor countrien where many farmers are the most living uses more than 75% for developing fields instead of growing advanced technolgies.

However, there are some other people who conclude that putting a lot money to agriculture is waste. It is essential to study and to find out many new facilities in order to adapt people's interest. Furthermore , the deficit of national budget in some poor countries where agriculture activities are developing appear clearly. The productivity is ineffecient. For instance, some products such as coconuts and annatto seeds have to be grown over ten years before harvesting.

In conclusion, some people are very convenient and happy with support agriculture while others are incovenient. In my view, I hope that agricultural activities always be one of crucial role the thrive their own countries.

sissi1987220 3 / 4  
Apr 27, 2011   #2
1. wide dicussed - widely discussed
2. All people know that health and decease always have an important impact on agriculture process. - It is well known that .. sounds better. and the latter part of this sentence sounds weird. may be "have a great impact".

3.a lot money - like speaking English, maybe try 'a huge amount of money '
4. It motivates the labor market and to reducereduces the unemployment happening in modern life
4.some people are very convenient and happy with support agriculture while others are incovenient
people can not convenient, you can say, with supportive agriculture, it is more convenient for people.
Overall, some ideas and sentences are a bit confusing but the structure is not bad.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Apr 28, 2011   #3
Great advice, SI lou!

Also, use "Investments in..."
The Investment in agriculture has become a widely discussed topic in our society recently.

In this essay, I will elaborate on this controversial phenomenon, and I will make an argument that __________(Sum up your arugment at the end of the first paragraph.)

Governments have recently taken interest in the quality of agriculture and products such as fruits and vegetables, because people cannot live without these.

In conclusion, some people are very comfortable and happy with agriculture, while others believe it is incovenient. In my view, I hope that agricultural activities always remain one of crucial practices that enable countries to prosper..


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