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People and technology - advantages disadvantages of internet

wannaimprove 1 / -  
Aug 5, 2019   #1

the big impact of internet on our world

It is true that as the result of the proliferation of the technology, internet has recently gained in popularity and gradually become an indipensable
part of people's daily lives. This essay is constructed to highlight both positive ramifications and demerits of this tendency. On the one hand, internet may bring a plethora of merits to its users. It is readily apparent that the omnipresence of social media enable people to interact with others regardless of geographical distances. As an illustration, it is now uncomplicated to connect with other users thoughout the world just by internet accessible devices. Besides, internet can significantly contribute to the growth of the world's economy by means of boosting online business. Without the internet usage, the influx of commodities might be slowed down and slightly resulted in other industries including importation and exportation.

On the other hand, internet may also trigger several repercussions. Firstly, it is clear that internet users can be bombarded with a various number of advertisements. Google, for instance, allows other brands and companies to advert their products via youtube videos or in the blankspace of some websites and this could lead to the dissatisfaction in the users' experiences. Internet can also be the culprit of the deterioration of people's health as it can cause some vision-related health risks. People espeacially adolescents can unintentionally immerse themselves in entertaining factors such as youtube and online games; consequently, they may cope with various health issues and can also have poor academic performance.

In conclusion, while internet can play an fundamental role in users' daily lives and world's economy, it can also be detrimental to some extent due

to the analysis above

Winter 6 / 12 4  
Aug 7, 2019   #2
In the introduction, merits and demerits has more rhythm
In the first paragraph, you should divide it into 2 paragraphs form on the one hand
In the last sentence in the second paragraph, I think it is too long
Despite that, the essay is well written
suong1510 5 / 9 1  
Aug 8, 2019   #3
hi there, I think you should pay more attention to grammar as you tend to ignore the s at the end of some words such as the omnipresence of social media enables people. also, I think you should include more clear and specific examples of your ideas, what jobs are helped by internet specifically.

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