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People tend to live alone which may have both beneficial and detrimental effects


In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

the increase of single living



In recent years, it has been becoming increasingly common that people tend to live alone. In my opinion, this trend could give rise to both disadvantages and advantages.

On the one hand, if there are more people chose to live individually, this trend can gain some benefits. As living individually, a person could become more mature and may have more useful skills for the future. A worker lives alone far away from home, for instance, no longer receives money support from his parents, he is able to gain money management skill to control his expenditure. Besides, the worker can learn how to protect his possessions from thieves. For example, living alone means that he cannot constrain the stealers from sneaking in his home during the time he is at his working time at company. Therefore, he has to find a careful way to keep his asset safe.

On the other hand, there are several disadvantages for this tendency. As living alone, the individual has not helps from his roommate. For instance, if the worker was sick and nobody was beside him, he could go to pharmacy to buy some pills by his own foots. It must be a hard for a sick person. Besides, the worker can encounter serious danger when a thieve suddenly come in his house with a knife. It is absolutely obvious that the worker cannot do anything because of living alone; therefore he not also gets any help from roommate but also is not able to scream out loud for help.

In conclusion, the increase of living alone may have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individual. Therefore, there must be a careful consideration between living alone and living with friends.

@Toantranchauquoc please refer below comments.

First of all, essay topic is asking you for your opinion and you are stating advantages and disadvantages. You will lose your point on Task Achievement as you are not answering the question. You can recognize Opinion question by keywords "Do you think this is a positive or negative development?" In this case, you need to clearly state your opinion and provide supporting examples of your view. Please stay away from the partial opinion as it confuses the reader. ( at least in the case of IELTS Writing task 2)

Following feedback is assuming this is Advantage and Disadvantage essay. This example question for this will like below;
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In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Discuss advantages and disadvantages for people staying alone.

In Introduction, try to state what is advantage and disadvantage? Statement - "this trend could give rise to both disadvantages and advantages" doesn't provide any new information. Instead, you can write like "One of the advantages of living alone is, it assists with personal growth, and a person can become more mature and financially independent" Similarly, you should state disadvantage in the Introduction as well. This will provide a reader an idea of what you are going to talk in this essay and makes reading smooth. You can try introduction structure like Paraphrase Question, State advantage, State Disadvantage.

Similarly, sentences like "On the one hand, if there are more people chose to live individually, this trend can gain some benefits" and "On the other hand, there are several disadvantages for this tendency" do not supply any new information and boring. Try to state paragraph first sentence like "On the other hand, staying alone means you have to manage through even in the case of the emergency like sickness or theft and you are on your own." You can also utilize following structure for Paragraphs 2 and 3 State advantage, Explanation, and Examples.

Also, try to use more complex sentence structure by combing one or more sentences and using various vocabularies. Hope this help.

If you can provide feedback on my essay that will help.
May 19, 2018   #3
Nguyen, this is a single opinion essay that you opted to discuss as a double point of view. That is the main reason why you will fail this essay. That, along with the fact that you were asked to discuss a positive or negative development and you instead, opted to discuss advantages and disadvantages, means that you did not understand the prompt requirement for the discussion. Let's outline the requirement so you can better see how you made a mistake:

Original Instruction: Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your Response: this trend could give rise to both disadvantages and advantages.

While some will say that advantages and disadvantages could be used as an alternative term for positive and negative, when it comes to the Task 2 essay, it is always best to use the obvious keywords in the paraphrasing of the opening statement. That way, the examiner will clearly see that you understood the important question being asked and that you knew how to properly use it in a sentence.

Please remember that unless explicitly asked to compare two points of view, all Task 2 essays are discussed from a single point of view. That is why your essay cannot receive a high score in this instance. You lost major points in the TA section mostly because of the prompt deviation in your response. Aside from that, the C&C section scoring of the essay asks that all paragraphs be developed with no more than 5 sentences per paragraph, you developed each paragraph with either 6 sentence of 2 sentences. The 2 sentences are short of the 3 sentence minimum for the presentation. The short paragraphs immediately indicate run on sentences in your presentation. However, most of your body paragraphs are also composed of run on sentences, all of which, when combined, will reduce the GRA and C&C score to less than passing marks. When combined, all of the 4 scoring considerations will tally into a failing score for your test.


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