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People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves

erin2925 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2021   #1

People tend to work longer hours nowadays.

Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

Individuals have tended to prefer extended workdays which have various disadvantages on their health, their family life and the community, so the government should ban the phenomenon. In my perspective, I completely agree with the idea of limiting work hours.

Workers' physical health has been harmed as a result of working excessive hours. People who work overtime are frequently exhausted, according to statistics. This is due to greater hours spent sitting at a workplace, gazing at a computer, and less physical exercise. As a result, individuals are more likely to experience health problems, including obesity, anxiety disorders, or even stroke. In the case of addiction, a study showed that individuals who were sedentary, were twice as likely to die prematurely than those who worked only around eight hours a day since they had more time to exercise regularly.

Working overtime has a negative influence on not only one's physical health but also on one's emotional health. Long hours at work mean less time to relax and sleep. As a result, our possibilities for depression are increased, resulting in a reduction in job satisfaction and productivity. At the same time, the proportion of people quitting their occupations would skyrocket. As an example, consider my uncle. He spends over eleven hours every day at the workplace and is now suffering from depression and stress.

In conclusion, I believe that the authorities should take measures to minimize this trend, as frequent working long hours has a harmful influence on employees' physical and mental health.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Dec 31, 2021   #2
on their health

There is no reference to the health of the person in the original statement. It indicates "themselves", which is not the same "their health". This is an incorrect synonym usage. The more appropriate phrase or word to have used here would have been "personal lives" since this refers to the idea of harming "themselves".

I completely agre

There is a difference between an extent response and a simple response in this essay. While both refer to agree or disagree, the former uses the hint "to what extent" in refence to "completely agree". Where "to what extent" is not present, the response should simply be "I agree".

according to statistics.

You can skip information sources in the task 2 essay because the task calls for only your personal opinion, regardless of whether the information is made up or accurate. The examiner is interested in the way that you analyze questions and deliver responses. He does not require a source for the information.

consider my uncle

Good touch that can increase the scoring potential. Personal examples help show how well you understood the question and how you apply the same to your personal insight. Well done.

The conclusion only contains 29 words, this must have at least 40 words to be considered a proper reverse paraphrase. The original topic was not restated as required. Neither were the topic sentences rephrased for this section. Both of which are the basis of the score for this paragraph.
hhspark 3 / 11  
Jan 2, 2022   #3
You could reinforce your point of view by mentioning other side's opinion and logically refuting it.
Also, when mentioning statistics, it is better to mention its specific source otherwise the whole point would get very weak.

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