Hi guys. This is my first time in this forum. Please help me with my essay. Thanks a million!
Topic:
These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, there is an enormous job market for labour due to industrialization and specialization. Thus, people have a tendency to involve in many particular fields and develop themselves in different jobs during their lifetime. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why changing job can bring benefits and have its drawback.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of job variety. One of the main positives of holding two or more jobs is taking an increase in salary. For many, especially young adults, supplementing income not only supply themselves essential needs but also provide them opportunities to achieve their goals. Take the blue-collar workers as an example. Manual work has always been associated with low income which may be the main cause why people seek other jobs and do more jobs at the same period. Moreover, evolving in many positions at the same or different time can help workers broaden their horizons. For the young, taxing and challenging job is more opted rather than cushy or desk job.
Secondly, ideal jobs or dream jobs for a long time can be gained by job hunters. These days, labour are more likely resign from their posts if they find themselves impossible to continue in adverse working conditions or heavy workload, which may link to strong feeling of stress or symptoms of burnout and exhaustion. People tend to look for the companies or factories which obtain job security, high income and cushy tasks. Besides, young generation often prefer companies that bring to them sense of job satisfaction, which may be considered as their incentives and stimuli for their success.
Turning to the other side of the argument, starting career in a new environment is never easy. People are not able to be skilled in all fields, therefore they will become newbies in novel areas. Thus, from unskilled worker, it takes plenty of time to learn and to improve. There is a multitude of barrier that novices have to cope with. If workers do not possess predisposition in new fields, the likelihood of resigning the job again is very high. Moreover, people who always not satisfy with the current job and seek for another ideal may never achieve high-powered job, credibility and respect.
All things considered, there are both positives and negatives to engaging in diverse fields. Personally, I believe the benefits accrued from changing job outweigh any negatives.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4782 You did not write a Task 2 essay, you wrote a research paper. The task 2 essay should never go beyond 250-290 words. 275 words being the most ideal word presentation. While I do applaud your skills in English writing, the point of the essay is to show the examiner your ability to clearly explain yourself using less words. That shows your ability to understand and discuss in English, using an academic manner based on simple English homework requirements. You do not have to aim to write a research paper, you merely have to write a quick response paper.
It is clear that you have a strong knowledge of the English vocabulary. However, this knowledge did not serve you well in the essay because you made several C&C, formality, and punctuation errors in the essay. All of which will work to pull down you score, regardless of your number of words. Additionally, you ended up writing a 5 paragraph essay in a response that uses the standard 4 paragraph presentation. You over discussed, over analyzed, and over presented the topic. You cannot do that
Refer to the rundown of the errors I found in your paper:
Plural word form usage:
For many, especially young adults, supplementing incomeS not only supply themselves essential needs but also provideS them opportunities ...
Connecting word requirement:
if workers do not possess A disposition
Use relevant simple vocabulary in simple presentations:
.. . benefits accrued from... - benefits gained
Comma usage before the word "and":
For the young, taxing, and challenging...
job security, high income , and cush tasks
Conciseness:
... have to cope with - must cope with
have a tendency to - tend to
Avoid Contractions in formal writing at all times:
Let's - Let us
Do not use informal word presentations:
Cushy - comfortable
Proper adverb usage:
... the job again is very high - extremely high
Since the essay is not asking you present a personal opinion, you should not be presenting one anywhere in the essay. By the way, your concluding paragraph does not summarize the discussion points so expect to lose points for presenting an open ended rather than concluded essay. See? Even though you wrote a very long essay, because it does not meet the requirements for the task, you will still receive sizeable point deductions in the end.
