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Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV should be banned.

panzerwarfare 1 / 1  
Jan 10, 2019   #1
Topic: Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

why the crime details should be hidden

The struggles between criminals and jurisprudence, chaos and order, good and evil are the endless races in the history of mankind. In order to protect justice and raise awareness of crimes, a lot of governments adopted a method which presents loads of images and information related directly to a crime or crime scene but it has been being protested by some protestors due to its negative impacts and they wish to abandon this kind of approach. To fully dissent with the above opinion, this essay will prove that the way governments using is practical based on the usefulness of behavior education, lowering the crime rates and protecting people.

Firstly, it is said that if the detail of a case is displayed to the public, the society will have a clear picture of the present legal updates and thus, one can be far from being an immoral. For example, when an immigrant comes to a new district, a conflict occurs between him and a local, after the fight, he ends up in a prison due to lack of legislation knowledge. It means that a man would never commit a crime unless never the state has demonstrated an identical case with specific data.

In addition, the rising in education of criminals leads to a more cautious behavior so as to avoid an infringement and danger situation. For instance, imagine you watched the latest news and knew that the alley in front of you is full of mobsters, you will find an alternative route to get to your destination safely. In other word, a person would conduct an act of dodging the worst perspective.

To sum up, to ban the truthful criminal files appearing on mass media is not a wise choice because only they are able to educate people to abide by the law and avert the direst plight.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,489 1927  
Jan 11, 2019   #2
Cao, as I have stated several times before to other students, there is a difference between the UK and American English spelling of certain words. The UK spelling tends to favor the use of vowels in their spelling of words and changing the spelling formation of words when compared to the English counterparts. This is something that you need to be more familiar with in the future so as to increase your LR score. In this essay, you spelled (UK spelling) behaviour in the American way (US spelling) , behavior. While the reviewer tends to overlook these small spelling errors, using the UK spelling when possible could help to boost your spelling accuracy considerations.

Familiarize yourself with the rules regarding comma usage. Normally, any sentence that connects 2 ideas in the sentence presentation using the word "but" needs to have comma before the conjunction. That was a GRA mistake that you made in this essay. There is also a punctuation convention ruling you have to follow when using a comma known as an Oxford comma. This is a multiple usage comma that is used to represent the final data in a series of information presentation such as:

The struggles between criminals and jurisprudence, chaos , and order...

Okay, now that we have the punctuations out of the way, you need to be called on the writing mistakes you made with this essay. For starters, you cannot write more than 275-300 words (ideally) since you only have 40 minutes to complete this task. Your opening paraphrase is the main reason why you overwrote in this essay. Rather than simply providing a prompt restatement, you create a whole backstory and flowery response to the simple question posted. Your paraphrase should have been as simple as:

With an over focus on illustrative information for acts of lawlessness, it is believed that the news media has become a negative force. As such, there are groups that believe limiting society's exposure to these type of news should be prevented. I fully disagree with this statement based on a few factors.

Your first paragraph did not approach the presentation the proper manner and caused a long winded approach to something that must always be straightforward in this type of presentation. Please remember that next time. Simply paraphrase, in a direct manner, and do it within 3-5 sentences. Your reasoning paragraphs are also not in line with the given topic for discussion and has altered the whole conversation in the process. Hence you created a prompt deviation which is definitely a scoring consideration concern.

Overall, this is not a well developed, nor properly discussed essay. It is a good effort in terms of a language and writing exercise, but it doesn't deliver the proper requirements when it comes to the overall Task 2 considerations.
OP panzerwarfare 1 / 1  
Jan 11, 2019   #3
Thank you Mr./Mrs. Holt for your precious assessment. In my next essays, I will pay more attention to the spelling and punctuation. Of course, I will change the style for my introduction, too. It is hard to replace a routine, but I will try my best to deliberate a succinct and appropriate introduction.

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