Hello, Alan!
I want to give some suggestion about your essay
Nowadays people tend to travel around the world more frequently either for study or settlement. However, there are many benefits and drawbacks for such development.
Your introduction is good. however, it isn't brief enough to emphasize your thought. Here is my example for this introduction;
Study and working in different countries are growing trend in current society. As such, most people argue that this is beneficial, since going overseas can widen the diversity of the visited area, develop the financial for both countries, and broaden people's knowledge. However, It is believed that moving abroad brings several drawbacks for the newcomers because they will experience language and cultural barriers. Therefore, I would suggest that going abroad is the best idea to obtain an excellent education and career.To sum up, in the world we live in today's, public movements around the globe become more and more, to live and study in a new country, a range of advantages and disadvantages could be produced due to such movement
Also your conclusion has to restate your previous opinions and a recommendation. Let me give a try;
To conclude, this is apparent that an ideal future can be achieved by immigrating to other countries. While these immigrants diverse the country, since they give new colors to the culture, this helps the native and dwelled countries to improve the economic stability. Likewise, people can acquire an immense knowledge because they are exposed to the whole new customs and characters. Where possible, the advantages of immigration can be seized by the school and work seekers.Hope this can help, thank you! - Vania Herlambang