[IELTS WRITING T2] Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university...

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education, and that government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is argued that all students are entitled to attend tertiary education and their tuition fees should be abolished by governments without their financial status. While this thinking is valid to a certain extent, I believe that pursuing college without fee would have an adverse bearing on students and society.

Continuous learning is the key to knowledge and waiving tuition is the strategy that governments give that key to everyone in order to underpin their intellectual for their own countries. This policy guaranteed nobody abandoned. Developed countries have been running this program to ensure their source of philosopher be always plentiful. For example, Norway and Denmark- countries that cover all education tuition for students from elementary to high level education, are two out of five countries which are by far the happiest place in the world with the percentage of unemplyee nearly 0 percent as well as the continent's fastest growing economy.

Despite the aforementioned benefits, I would contend that provision of free-of-charge education is, in fact, can cause imbalance in society. The job market is extremely competitive as it is, even job seekers with college qualifications. Therefore, if everyone is entitled to university, it is less feasible for them to get a job, let alone the financial abundance previously associated with the acquisition of a tertiary degree. Besides, giving the opportunity for studying in a high-level school easily makes students lose their motivation and they are not forced to get off the ground rather than those who struggle to earn enough money for what they decided to study. The difference between the investment and the outcome cause budget deficit, this becomes an enormous problem that is hard to solve.

In conclusion, while the potential benefits of university tuition waivers make it seem like a good idea, I believe that the government should not make it free for everyone.

The opinion formation is incorrect. The opinion and extent response should be integrated into the reason. It should have been formatted similar to the following:

I partially agree with this statement to the extent that the government should subsidize free education up to the point that....
The point is to clearly represent your opinion, with an integrated thesis statement that will be the basis of the reasoning paragraphs.


The only acceptable reasoning paragraph here is the second paragraph, which supports the writer's earlier opinion. This should have been the first reasoning paragraph, with the topics within it expanded into a second paragraph to show the cohesiveness of the discussion.

The writer has presented an under developed essay at this point due to the improper first reasoning paragraph. While it might get a passing TA score, there are other grammar related issues in the essay that may still prevent it from receiving a passing score.

@Holt
Thank for your feedbacks,
But my opinions for this topic are both agree and disagree. So my body 1 is agree and body 2 is disagree. Could you help me changing my topic overview more clearly and easier to understand?