Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving the increasing pollution


psidhu9 1 / -  
Aug 30, 2018   #1
can you please review my essay??

governmental authorities dealing with air pollution



Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving the increasing pollution problems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?

It is generally thought by many that the government should solely be held accountable for dealing with the rising levels of air pollution and noise pollution due to the high amount of traffic. In my opinion, while I believe that the government has a bigger role to play in alleviating this problem, the joint efforts of the citizens of a country are also required.

To begin with, it is the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety and health of its people. They should implement some stringent rules and regulations such as the green tax on airline companies and other companies which use hazardous pollutants, to reduce the escalating pollution levels. Another typical example of such rule is the use of even and odd numbered vehicles on alternate days in Delhi, the capital city of India. Consequently, these rules can certainly help in the decreasing the pollution.

In addition, the government should invest more on introducing the vehicles which use cleaner fuels such as CNG. Moreover, the state should also organize some campaigns and seminars for raising awareness among the people regarding the environmental deterioration and encourage them to use public transport as well as practice carpooling.

However, these efforts of the government will only be fruitful if the people will act according to the implemented laws. It is an individual's responsibility to take certain measures on a personal level. For instance, a person can shut down his vehicle while waiting at a traffic signal to reduce the gas emission in the air. Therefore, the dwellers also have a vital role in curtailing the air pollution.

In conclusion, though, I believe that the governmental authorities have a higher part in dealing with air pollution, the coalesced efforts of the individuals are also required in the significant reduction of the pollution.

Linh Dieu 8 / 16 1  
Aug 30, 2018   #2
Hi
I think almost all your paragraphs are tending to show how government and citizens should do to reduce heavy traffic impacts but it is totally doesn't take topic response. You are required to explain the government should be responsible for solving the increasing pollution problems which result from heavy traffic but I can't notice any explanation from you other than your own measures. You shall state several ones like:

- The government must take crucial responsibilities as its central role to control all country's progress
- The transportation system in both management methods and distinct supervisions are distributed to cities and areas by government's order
Otherwise, it will definitely make you lose your TA mark to an alarming extent. By the way, some grammar mistakes need correcting.
Hope that helps.
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Aug 31, 2018   #3
Priya, you just failed half this test so you will not get a passing score for it. How did you fail the test? You failed to properly respond to the task you were provided. You did not understand at all what the prompt task is all about so you did not offer a response to the prompt as required. The prompt instructed you to discuss the following:

Question: To what extent do you agree?
Response: In my opinion, while I believe that the government has a bigger role to play in alleviating this problem, the joint efforts of the citizens of a country are also required.

You can clearly see where you made the mistake that caused the failing mark for this essay in the outline above. You totally changed the prompt topic for discussion and the discussion method. As you most likely have been told, once you make a mistake with the TA response, you lose half the scoring marks for the essay. Add to that the problems with your work with regards to the other scoring considerations and there is absolutely no way that you will have an essay that can pass the test.

The question is answerable by:

I totally agree/disagree
I partially agree./disagree
I an in full agreement/disagreement

along with other variations thereof. Since your response is nowhere near the expected response, you cannot expect to pass the test. Even though your reasoning is along the acceptable reasons, your marks were severely affected by the TA, C&C, as well as GRA mistakes in your presentation. So I cannot consider this to be a good attempt at writing a Task 2 essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving the increasing pollution