Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 7

Writing 2: people think instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it

Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Jan 13, 2017   #1
Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

stopping climate change

Nowadays, climate change is a well-known issue and almost everyone is aware of it. Some people are finding ways to avoid the said issue whereas others think that figure out how to survive in such situation is much worth to consider. In my opinion, I think both arguments are equal important.

It can be observed easily that the weather change has become severely than ever. From the icebergs melt in Arctic to the heavy rain in desert, the climate change has affected the worldwide environment. In order to prevent the rising of temperature, people are looking for several methods: the government sign the agreement to decrease the CO2, the school educate the importance of environmental protection and the individual does the recycling.

On the other hand, another side argue that since the climate change is an inevitable result, it is better for human adapt it as soon as possible. This kind of thinking is quite realistic but seems to be an alternative way. For the purpose of it, the astronauts explore the possibility of moving to Mars and the scientist research the condition of living underground.

In conclusion, I think although stopping climate change is the first priority to do, to find the others ways in the same time is also meaningful.

nandasharma 14 / 53 9  
Jan 13, 2017   #2
Hope, this will help.

... others think that figurefiguring out how to (...) much worthy for consideration.
... both arguments are of equal importance.

Arlen, you've demonstrated a great consciousness as a writer, but I've to say you still need to work hard on Subject-Verb agreement, Vocabulary choice. Like here

: the government sign the agreement to decrease the CO2, the school ...

: the governments are cooperating on several agreements to decrease toxic carbon emissions, the educational institutions are enlightening the upcoming generation about environmental conservation and recycling...
vonhuoclan 1 / 1  
Jan 13, 2017   #3
I think you should express your own opinion, Agree or Disagree and explain for that, so your essay will be more persuaded. Yes it's my thought. cause I also began to write essay a few weeks ago. : )
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,325 3353  
Jan 14, 2017   #4
Arlen, the discussion of colonizing Mars does not fall under the topic of living with climate change or dealing with climate change. Moving humans to Mars will be the final step in abandoning the Earth after climate change has totally destroyed the planet. Therefore, the idea of discussing that in this essay is inappropriate. Instead, you should have built up the discussion of scientists considering moving underground. That is a proper way of discussing how to live with climate change. Your conclusion needs more work. You have to properly develop the conclusion to restate the prompt, both sides of the argument, and then repeat your opinion on the matter in order to to allow for a completely developed end to your essay.
ayuriska 7 / 13 1  
Jan 19, 2017   #5
hi @Arlen i think you should decide whether you agree or disagree with that statement in the second point, it will be better if you develop the moving underground idea, like inventing sophisticated technology etc

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jan 19, 2017   #6
Arlen, I am sure that you have already known that in the instruction of IELTS writing task 2 it is pretty clear about what to do. You are asked to write in NOT less than 250 words unless your score will be reduced. This is the very first thing that you MUST remember. Writing an IELTS task, particularly task 2, with less than 250 words will only make your score cannot go beyond 5.0 no matter how accurate your grammar is. If you write more than 250 words, at least your score will be safe enough to get around 5.0 (it also depends on four essential IELTS criteria in writing band descriptors).

Thus, my suggestion is that if you want to play safe (at least to write more than 250 words), try to consider the followings:

1st paragraph:
- Write not less than three sentences that consist of question paraphrase, thesis statement, and the outline of your thesis statement.

2nd and 3rd paragraphs:
- Try to write more than three sentences in this paragraph by mentioning the reason why, explanation, and example along with the implication of the example that you have given.

4th paragraph:
- it simply consists of the paraphrase of your introduction paragraph, and gives a recommendation/suggestion/hope for the future.
skazo 2 / 2  
Jan 21, 2017   #7
I think it would be better to pick a side in this essay and focus on that side throughout the essay. Also the idea of moving to Mars seems like a last resort. You should write about how we can live with climate change on earth, even if we can't stop it.

Home / Writing Feedback / Writing 2: people think instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it