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IELTS: Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want- an argument-led essay


Ehsangh 1 / 1  
Feb 2, 2015   #1
Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.

It is unfortunately the case that in any society we can find a number of people who do not respect to the social rights of others. One of the most disturbing cases is making noise either in public or people's private life. . While the majority of people believe that the amount of noise produced by individuals must be restricted, there are still people who think that they have freedom to make noise regardless of considering other's life. In this essay, I will explain my point of view by examining both sides of the argument.

Some people think that they should not take any responsibility related to limiting or decreasing the noise made by them. They claim that controlling the amount of the noise by rules and regulations not only invades their personal privacy, but it violates their social freedom. For example, in their view, listening to music loudly or hosting night parties in their own apartments would be considered as their basic human rights of being happy.

There is, however, a strong argument that it is the responsibility of all members of a society to respect others' social life. Most people object to disrupting other's life by making unlimited noises. They believe that making noise should be controlled as much as possible when it creates disturbance for others by regulating strict rules. A common example here is to prohibit talking over cell phones loudly in the public such as in a subway which is clearly creating disturbance for people who are near the person while it has been frequently happening.

In my view, any type of activity that creates disturbance for citizens' life must be controlled, and noise is no exception. Although it is beyond the power of governments to control all disturbing noises in the whole society, it seems to be possible that making some avoidable noises is banned in certain places such as near hospitals.

fadlanmuzakki 15 / 49 36  
Feb 2, 2015   #2
Hi Ensangh, I have several comments and suggestions for you.

GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

the majority of people believe that

it should be : the majority of people believes that

They claim that controlling the amount of the noise by rules and regulations not only invades their personal privacy, but it violates their social freedom

could you rewrite this sentence??

the responsibilityof all members

"of" is not collocate with responsibility inasmuch as it should be "responsibility for"

possible that making some avoidable noises

possible that makes / made some avoidable noises ( you should put a verb after "that" )

FLOWS AND IDEAS :

It is unfortunately the case that in any society we can find a number of people who do not respect to the social rights of others. One of the most disturbing cases is making noise either in public or people's private life. . While the majority of people believe that the amount of noise produced by individuals must be restricted, there are still people who think that they have freedom to make noise regardless of considering other's life. In this essay, I will explain my point of view by examining both sides of the argument.

I am affraid your introduction paragraph will be valued as memorized language as

I will explain my point of view by examining both sides of the argument

is exceedingly common in sample answer in IELTS Writing task two. What's more, I utterly believe that it is unnecessary when you start your sentence with "it is unfortunately". it is vague idea and it tends to bias. I just suggest you to prevent using it in the first sentence of your first paragraph.

KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY.


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