Hi there, I am wondering if my body paragraphs has clearly convey the main idea in this essay, it would be grateful of you to give me some advice, thank you!
Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
According to some people's thought, they believe that the modern life provides us a great number of choices, and I completely agree with that since this e-generation and cutting edge technology has endowed people with substantial resources.
In this modern society, the Internet has bring us much convenience. It enrich our life in many aspects, and abundantly offers us information. In the past, we can only watch dramas and movies through the television. The amount of TV programmes are limited, so there are only fixed channels we can watch. However, thanks to new technology, now we can choose whatever we want to watch on the Internet, as a bunch of videos are available online, such as Netflix, YouTube and other video platform.
As technology bring us many choices, the massive information has disturb options of people when making decisions and causes some disadvantages. In order to attract people, some websites provide illegal films for free, so that they do not have to pay money going to cinema but watching the same movie. As a consequence, it can say that convenient technology boost the growth of private films. Another drawback is that due to numerous of choices, people spend too much time in this virtual world, and put less time and effort in the reality. This may cause several serious problems, like decreasing the efficiency when doing things in the real world, or ignoring things that we human should actually pay attention to.
In conclusion, there is no doubt in my mind that we have so much options in this era. Those choices have bring us a lot of convenience, but if we cannot utilize them carefully, we may be overwhelmed in those explosive information.
@chloeyyy123
Hi, there. I would like to give you some of my personal feedback about your writing. 😁😁
As I read your writing, it is obvious to see that you take "e-generation" and "technology" as examples. From your body paragraphs, you listed several examples (internet, TV channels)to support your main ideas, which can be easily understood and persuaded.
Here I have another example maybe you can take it as a reference.
"We did not have affluent financial status before so that our choices are limited. For example, buying a cell phone 20 years ago was a luxury decision so most of people tended to use house phone. But thanks for the economic development so that we have quantity of facilities can be used in current generation."
Beside technology, I would like to utilize this point to illustrate my point of view.
Hope my opinion would help.😁😁
