Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


Some people think secondary students should study international news as a school subject


Bobbypark 3 / 8  
Nov 17, 2013   #1
Some people think secondary students should study international news as a school subject, but others argue that it is a waste of their valuable school time.?

Through the progression of time, the issues regarding international news as a school subject for the young learners have become controversial. Some think it is crucial for the young to learn social knowledge while others think studying international news could be stressful for them. It is important to remain a balanced awareness. This essay will not only reveal both benefits and drawbacks.

To begin with, no one can deny that paying attention to the world would be helpful for the youth to gain social knowledge. For example, should they only study the subjects, which are given in school, they are not likely to find current issues in the world that could be importantly handled in companies. Therefore, they may miss a lot of social information that is likely to be required in their future careers while spending too much time on studying the subjects, which may be only focused on exams. From this reasoning, studying international news could be essential for students to learn as a school subject.

However, as with any form of implementation, drawbacks concurrently exist with benefits. Students at school are likely to deal with substantial stress from a number of exams as well as subjects. For instance, According to some research, many students in China study more than ten subjects, which are more than what American students do. Therefore, as of choosing international news as a school subject, students are likely to suffer from stress and depression. However, this is realistically avoidable by the fact that reading a variety of the world news could provide the young with a number of advanced terms that could help them enhance their verbal and writing abilities. From this reasoning, selecting the world news as a school subject could result in more benefits than disadvantages.

To sum up, in considering both sides of the argument, it is clear that this essay has revealed the significant supporting reasons for the claim that learning international news could benefit students to gain common sense as well as social knowledge that may be helpful in their careers. The drawback has shown to be limited by the fact that as the young deal with a number of subjects, adding international news would be able to trouble them mentally. This could lead to depression.
OP Bobbypark 3 / 8  
Nov 17, 2013   #3
alextloft28
could u give me a feedback for this essay? I am going to take an ielts.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 18, 2013   #4
Through the progression of time, the issues regarding international news as a school subject for the young learners have become controversial. Some think it is crucial for the young to learn social knowledge while others think studying international news could be stressful for them. It is important to remain a balanced awareness. This essay will not only reveal both benefits and drawbacks.

Where is the hook statement? You start with the background introduction. :) Please refer to your previous essay for my suggested structure. Also, it is good to conclude an introduction with a clear statement that explains your position in the argument. So I find the last sentence in this introduction as not adding any value to your essay, but only it reduces its effect.

To begin with, no one can deny that paying attention to the world would be helpful for the youth to gain social knowledge

.... social knowledge? What do you mean?
To begin with, no one can deny that paying attention to the world would be helpful for the youth to gain a better outlook.
OP Bobbypark 3 / 8  
Nov 18, 2013   #5
oh right.

I am still working on the "hook" that u mentioned before. could u please make a hook for me in the introduction ?? I am still working on it.


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people think secondary students should study international news as a school subject
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳