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Task 2: Some people think that sports play an important role in the development of society


Daisy23 1 / -  
Jun 19, 2021   #1

Sports contribution to the growth of society



There is an argument that whether sports can be a crucial factor in the development of society or just as recreational activities. To my conviction, sports can count towards a healthy and thriving country

One of the main reasons is that sports can maintain and spread nation prestige in terms of strength. For example, those athletes who enter sports events with the best award will have coverage media worldwide, which can then stimulate economic growth. Another additional benefit is that increasing engagement in sports activities will facilitate some members of the community more employment opportunities. For instance, more sellers of sports equipment, sports trainers, and sports tourism. Furthermore, while people tend to indulge themselves in a sedentary lifestyle, it can be a solution that raises awareness and embraces public health

On the other hand, there are two main reasons why people consider sports as a mere option for pleasure. The first reason is that people do not fully understand the beneficial effects sports confer on both personal and societal levels. Besides, sports can reveal stress, it involves preventing people from potential diseases like Cardiovascular, obesity and provide people with a longer life expectancy. Another reason for this trend is that people assume their job takes priority over sports as work payment can maintain their living standard. Hence, those people rarely engage in sports activities unless there is free time or sports bring benefits to their career prospects

In conclusion, although sports seem to be less significant in terms of contributing to the growth of society, I believe that sports can have their value
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,263 3976  
Jun 20, 2021   #2
The discussion instruction is to write an analytical opinion of both views before giving your personal opinion. So the discussion must be presented within 3 analysis paragraphs:

- sports develops society
- sports for liesure
- personal opinion ( healthy and thriving economy)

Though the essay is engaging and informative, there is a specific discussion format and topic requirement per paragraph. Athough the essay meets the word requirement, the general discussion format is not applicable to this presentation. The point of view presented does not identify itself in terms of giangs pronoun representation. The explanations should clearly apply to or identify a group point of view prior to the writer's perspective paragraph.
HelenN 5 / 10 3  
Jun 21, 2021   #3
Hi @Daisy23

There is an argument I think you can use present perfect here, it is not an error but it will help you in term of grammatical range that whether ...

... and thriving country (don't forget the period at the end of the sentence.

... in terms of strength love your main ideas.

On the other hand (I am not sure but sometimes people don't consider "on the other hand" an academic phrase. I think you can simply use "Conversely" or "In contrast", there are two main ...

... with a longer life expectancy you have very good use of vocabulary. Nice!.

..., I believe that sports can have their value the conclusion ends abruptly to me
Sally_Dao 2 / 4 1  
Jun 23, 2021   #4
... facilitate some members of the community to have more employment opportunities. (I think you are missing a verb for this sentence.)

For instance, there are more sellers of sports ... (wrong grammar)

The conclusion quite short and ends abruptly


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