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Some people think that video games are really bad and should be completely banned (view 1)

lpc04 1 / -  
Aug 31, 2021   #1

the impact of video games on young people

The discourse regarding the impact of video games on people, especially the youth. Many people reckon that video games influence badly on youngsters and ought to be prohibit while others believe that players will gain benefit from them. While the latter can be justified for some reasons, I am more inclined toward the former.

Admittedly, video games can do advantage for children and teenagers. The main argue is that it helps people to unwind after a long hour of working and studying. By playing games, players can release stress and refresh their mind. However, video games have many drawbacks. Firstly, they are on the edge of becoming addictive. The underlying cause is that they spend too much and lose control themselves from playing video games. Secondly, it does harm for people's health leading to many illnesses such as headache or obesity. In fact, they have tendency becoming passive because they do not have enough time to both do exercises and play game.

On the other hand, I personally think that it is detrimental to play video games. First, it has bad effect on study. It means that video games disturb students from studying leading to skip classes or get lower marks in exams. Secondly, video games reduce chances to communicate with others because they only concentrate on playing them and are not willing to talking any words. Finally, it impacts on our characters a lot. If the youth play a violent game, they likely act pessimistically as adults.

In conclusion, though video games have some benefits, the drawbacks seem to outweigh. Thus, it should be limited to serve our mental life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,707 3785  
Sep 1, 2021   #2
The first sentence of the restatement is a incoherent. Note that there is no subject - verb reference indicated, leaving the sentence as an incomplete thought. Every sentence is considered as a part of the logical thought process of the presentation. Where an illogical presentation exists in either sentence or paragraph presentation, C + C and GRA deductions are sure to follow.

The succeeding sentences and paragraph presentations show that the student needs to gain more understanding of English vocabulary and develop his sentence structuring abilities more. The specific weaknesses do not matter at this point. Both need to be equally developed based on general grammar and vocabulary rules.
anon123456 1 / 3 2  
Sep 1, 2021   #3
In my opinion you can focus on some of these points
- You can write a bit more on the title in a neutral tone. Just restatement of the title would not have the same impact
- You need to complete the sentences for eg.
the drawbacks seem to outweigh the advantages

- Some minor grammar improvements here and there - I recommend proof reading the essay after you're done writing.
phillips - / 3  
Sep 2, 2021   #4
The article you write is brilliant

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