Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success.
People have their own meaning of happiness, some of them think that welfare life and high salary are the most essential correlation in personal happiness, but the rest believe that other factors, such as family harmony and healthy life contribute towards achieving happiness. I am going to discuss both views and giving my opinion as a conclusion in the end of the writing.
Nowadays, there is no denying that money has the strong influence in people lives since most people require money to buy what they want to buy. People with the decent job will have more prosperous life than others who don't have proper job because they receive much more money. It will make them have a bigger chance to meet their wants, buying deluxe car and purchasing luxurious house, for instance. In some cases, extra efforts are needed to attain affluence and it will reduce the quality of personal life such as lack of familiy time.
On the other hand, people living in happy family which can accept the real circumstance of family members especially in economical condition can be other happiness sources. For example, in some states one just has middle income or even low income, their family will not give an intense pressure. The family encourage in positive ways such us giving support and motivation instead. Next, health, other factors, can affect toward being happiness. With the healthiness, people can participate in many activities giving them many satisfied experiences.
In conclusion, i would like to say that economic success pertain to personal happiness. however those other factors also have a great consideration in the pursuing of happiness. But, i firmly believe that others factors such us family harmony and health body will be the real happiness in our life.
Hi Aris, I believe this is my first review for your essay however, I assure you that as we practice here on EF, we will definitely provide you with consistent objective feedback and that will hopefully enhance your essay and be more confident for submission.
This modification is focused on the first 2 paragraphs of your essay.
welfarea wholesome life andwith
buthowever, as much as you can, avoid using the word "but")
givinggive my opinion as a
inby the end of the writingarticle .
- Nowadays, there is no denying that money has
- strong influence in peoples lives since
- People with
thea decent job
don'tdoesn't have proper job becauseand they receive much more money.
- It will
make themmean they have a bigger chance
such as lacklike lacking of familiy time.
There you have it Aris, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and should you need further assistance, do let us know so we can help out.
... than others who
don'tdo not have proper job because they receive much more money. Next,then, health, other factors , can affect toward being happiness.
people can participate in many activities giving them
manymore satisfied experiences [redundant adjective].
Hope these help
Hi Aris,indeed, people has different views on pursuing happiness, however, regardless of how we pursue our own purpose in this lifetime, it would be best to consider that, happiness will only have a meaning if you are truly happy with yourself, with the people around you and with how life is looking ahead of you.
Moreover, with my first review, I hope you find the modifications helpful and even more valuable to your revision.I'd like to complete the review with the additional modifications below;
- On the other hand, people living in a happy
whichshould can accept the real
- circumstance of every family members
- especially in economical condition, can be other happiness sources. -
For example, inIn some states, if one
just has a middle income or even low income,
- and motivation
Next, health, other factors,Health is also a factor that can
toward beingthe pursuit of happiness.
There you have it Aris, this additional help should strengthen your essay further.