Unanswered [56] | Urgent [1]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

(IELTS Task 2) Should people tie their companionship to only one particular organization or not?

hahan 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2023   #1
Hi, I'm new. Please help me with my essay. Thank you so much!

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is an assertion among people whether they should tie their companionship to only a particular organization, whereas others presume to work for other companies as well. To some extent, both views appear beneficial, however, I believe it depends on the demand of workers as well as the working environment.

It is common to notice a few seasoned workers in a company where they have been contributing devotedly to their organizations and tend not to pack in to work for any others. These employees may think that their jobs are undoubtedly rewarding, bringing together people with a shared enthusiasm to work for such a desirable place. This only happens due to a litany of special policies that managers reasonably treat their staff, creating an environment in which ideological conflicts or even cognitive dissonance can be unanimously freed of.

On the other hand, humans may long for a breath of fresh air in their majorities, as a result, they would likely scour for other companies or to be a flexible freelancers. It is hard to nail down the reason, but perhaps it is owing to poor working conditions when some people are not treated equally, in addition, to an unpleasant working environment after. Apart from this, people could find that their initial sectors have no more interest to be followed. Therefore, leaving is irrefutable.

To recapitulate, more and more organizations have been cropping up everywhere, and all qualified employees are welcome. To spend the whole life engaging in only or multiple companies is merely a matter of fact. As long as humans can remain ambitious and find working is not an obligation but a way to reach a sustainable life, every exertion is worth it.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4652  
Mar 9, 2023   #2
You have a tendency to use mix English words that have contradictorty meanings in your sentences. For example, assertion was misused in the first sentence of the restatement paragraph. The word became wrong in reference when you continued to explain

whether they should tie their companionship to only a particular organization

An assertion references a positive statement or declaration, often without support or reason. Based on that definition, your essay will definitely come across as confusing to the reader. Word usage matters in the LR score because of the word meaning, which directly ties into the C+C and GRA scoring considerations. The reason that this essay will not get a passing score is because of your habit of using various English words out of context, which results in faulty reasoning discussions and confusing explanations. Based on the way the essay was developed, you appear to have been focused on word usage rather than explanation clarity and writing quality. This is definitely going to get the lowest possible, failing score that can be applied to it.

Home / Writing Feedback / (IELTS Task 2) Should people tie their companionship to only one particular organization or not?
Writing Help?

Visit CustomPapers.com ◳

Visit GraduateWriter.com ◳
(GW10 - 10% discount!)