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TOEFL; Some people treat their pets as members of their family. Is it good or not?


holylua 5 / 15 2  
Aug 8, 2013   #1
Pets play a vital part in our lives. They live with us in the same house and sometimes protect us from dangers. Although some people act cruel to their pets because they just regard these pets as normal animals, a great majority of people have close relationships with their pets such as birds, cats and other animals and treat them as members of their family. In my view, these relationships are good for two important reasons.

First of all, love for animals helps us increase humanity. When we raise and take good care of our pets as our members of our family, it means that we possess a kind heart. The more we love our pets, the better we tend to treat other people. For example, I have a next-door warm-hearted neighbor named John . He has a big dog and spends most of his spare time playing with and taking care of it. He keeps it at home, walk it to the park after he is back from work and lets it sleep with him in bed every night. Especially, he is the most generous and helpful guy I have ever known. He often helps the other neighbors fix the sink, repair the roof and so on. He is always there for help. Indeed, good relationships with our pets help us become nicer and more warm-hearted individuals.

Secondly, good relationships with pets help release tension in daily life . It is fun and relaxing to have them as our close friends and play with them after a hard day at work or at school. For instances, I remember looking after a kitty when I was in high school. She was very cute and had an attractive soft fur. Every time I was home from school, it right jumped into my lap to greet me. I enjoyed embracing it and stroking its fur. My stress at school disappeared altogether when I was with my lovely cat. This loving experience taught me that having pets as your close friends is a way of relieving stress and enhancing your life.

In sum, it is beneficial to maintain good relationships with our pets and treat them as members of our family. Not only does this help us develop more love for the surrounding people but also help us easily have a relaxing life. People should raise a pet in the house to find the life beautiful and worth living.

joyhu 9 / 22 5  
Aug 8, 2013   #2
I am a new user here, and I am not good in English..
So, I will be really sorry if I mislead you.
I think you use some good examples to stand your points, and I do learn a lot from your essay.
Still, here are some of the problem that I found.
You can see them as a reference.
Wish you good luck. =)

He often helps the other neighbors fix the sink

In my opinion, "He often helps " other " neighbors"

When we raise and take good care of our pets as our members of our family

I think you can change it into " as a member of our family "
posdream 4 / 12 5  
Aug 9, 2013   #3
For help...to help
For instances....for instance.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 10, 2013   #4
Pets play a vital part in our lives

.... Well.... this is certainly true for some people but not for everybody because there are people who have no tolerance for pets. So, start with a hook that can be applied to any situation or case.

a great majority of people have close relationships with their pets such as birds,

.... great majority? I think that sounds a bit over done

When we raise and take good care of our pets as our members of our family, it means that we possess a kind heart.

When we take good care of our pets and treating them like as almost as family members, it naturally influence us to be more compassionate and kind towards others.


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