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When people try their best with determination, it would be easier for them to become successful


ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 30, 2016   #1
Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

Everyone absolutely has desire to be success in life and some people believe that the main aspect to reach the goal is hard work and determination. However, others argue that there is another factor behind the success. I firmly believe that determination is a convenient key to success while an obvious schedule board as a planning method is needed when gaining a successful life.

Creating a mind map of the future planning is the wise step that we should make before taking a real action. A vision planning will be our guidance when we begin determined work. Based on a motivational book titled 'When the Dream Comes True' by Thania Miles, there are many categories which provide the success in life. One of the lists is schedule board. Every step of our life should be noted and when we able to fulfil our requirement as well as what we wrote, we can achieve our goal easily. However, as far as i am concern, schedule board which id designed by us will be useless if we do not determine it.

Determination and hard work are the real activities that we should do when we want to be success. Although the tracks are difficult, people who have a sophisticated desire will keep trying through their optimum ability. For instance, Joe Alexander, 15 years old big dreamer, got a precious nobel as the greatest pianist over the world after he practised every day and struggle since he was five, finally he can have a big smile in his face when he experienced the nobel as his biggest goal. Now, he becomes a successful boy in his early age because he has been reached success through the competition.

All in all, through hard work and determination, at the end we can achieve our success. I believe that when people create the mapping plan and try their best with determination, it would be easier to make they dream which is being success in life become true.

Beauty17 56 / 88 5  
Nov 30, 2016   #2
hallo ifra.. i want to give you some suggestion.. i hope it helps..

... believe that the main aspect to reach the goal is hard work and determination . ( The main aspects to reach the goal are.... )

... the future planning is the A wise step that ...
...and when we ARE able to fulfil our (...), schedule board which id (is) designed by us ...

Be careful with subject verb agreement, you need to more concern with this matter.

Good Luck.
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Nov 30, 2016   #3
Hello ifra,

... to reach the goal is hard work and determination. However, others argue that there is another factor behind the success

Your background seems to less paraphrase the question. To paraphrase it I suggest to you :

1. Change the sentence into passive forms:

Hard work and determination are believed by some people ...

2. Then, Try to find the synonym:

Tough effort and resolution are believed by some ...

... key to success while , SO an obvious schedule board ...

3. While is used usually for contradiction. However in your sentence is not kind of contradiction, because you add some details, so you can change into above words.


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